Saturday, February 24, 2007

How to be supportive: Part II (or: Fristers)


B is my sister closest in age. She is two years younger than I, and is going to be a mother of two little girls sometime in the next two weeks or so. I've dubbed the newest addition "Ramona", but B and her hubby don't seem to be the biggest fans. We'll see.

This sister of mine is the most amazing mother I've ever seen. I had never really seen unconditional love until I saw her with her daughter. I have never seen anyone love so deeply or completely as she does... and her patience! She is so patient that she will read the same book or sing the same song 15 times in one day.

B is my #1 supporter outside of my wonderful wife. She is always on my side, and she always roots for me. When we were little, we used to stay up late singing songs, doing gymnastics on our bunk beds, or cleaning our room as a surprise for mom. We have always known that our bond was a great gift. I wasn't more than five or six years old when we coined the term "fristers" because we were so much more than just sisters or just friends. In our teen years, we weathered a painful divorce with all of the usual baggage. Years later, we stuck together again when dad was dying, remarried, and spiteful toward our mother. We share memories, we rely on each other for our histories, and we love each other immensely.

When E and I first started dating, I needed to communicate with B things were a bit different. We had dinner with B and her hubby (then boyfriend.) That dinner was TERRIBLE! B was so uncomfortable, and so was I. It wasn't a month later, though, that B became my full supporter. It was readily apparent that I was happy and that E was an amazing person; that's all she needed. In the last 5.5 years, B has used her position as an ally and Social Worker to confront homophobia in a part of the world that is exposed to very little beyond conservative Christian teachings. Every time she does so, I know she is making the world a better place for me, E, our children, and everyone else. Every time she does so, I am proud she is my sister.

As these months have worn on, B has even stepped up in supporting me... She leaves us messages on the blog; she calls to see how we're doing; she waits for text messages indicating the go/no-go status of things. I think she not only knows how much we want this, but she also understands how much joy a child can bring.

B, thank you for being an amazing sister, for always supporting me, and for always loving me. Thank you for being my frister. I love you,
Sara
p.s. I know you probably don't like this pic, but it's the most recent I have!

5 comments:

Kim said...

Hi Sara and Erin! I'm not sure how I stumbled across yall, but I did and here I am.

I just finished reading your story and want to be one to lend some support...as I'll be needing some too.

BEST of luck!

Anonymous said...

Erin & Sara: I just caught-up with your blogs from Fristers through Support I & II....all impressively written. My heart goes out to you and my support has no limits. I am here, there, anywhere whenever encouragement, a pat on the back, a rousing cheer, a prayer, or a simple "I hear you." is needed. Lots of love. Dad

sandra said...

That made me really sad, but in a good way. I miss my brother...and I'm pulling for you guys.

Erin said...

Betso Rocks!!!! I love ya too B. You are an amazing support to us!

Anonymous said...

Thank you. I don't know that I deserve all the wonderful things you said but it did make me a bit weepy. I know you would do the same for me - an probably more. I love you both and I am sorry it has been so tough for you lately. I just wish everything was simpler for you guys. You deserve better.
-Betsy