Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Downright ticked

I’m offended. I’m outraged. I’m totally miffed about the current topics in the presidential campaign.

Is it about the economy? Is it about foreign relations and rebuilding the image of America to the world? Is it about health care for children and the uninsured? Is it about rebuilding our failing educational system? Is it about creating true energy independence? Is it about taking care of the world around us so that our children actually have a world to worry about?

NO. At least not in most of the media stories I see or the conversations I have hear/have regarding the candidates.

It is about gender. Excuse me? This is the president and vice president of the United States of America, not Mr. and Mrs. America.

Should Joe Biden focus on the total lack of experience Sarah Palin brings to the ticket? Does he have to be careful not to seem to attack a woman during a debate? Can Barak Obama not use a known statement (putting lipstick on a pig) originally used by John McCain about Hillary Clinton’s policies about John McCain’s proposed programs without being seen a being sexist?

The “coldest state, hottest governor” buttons are sexist not calling a VP candidate out about her blatant lies. Focusing on her being a mom and worrying about her ability to govern with a small child is sexist. Thinking I would vote for a Pro Life, aerial hunting, ANWR drilling, abstinence only touting, right wing nut just because she is a woman is insulting to my, (and every woman’s) intelligence. She is defiantly not a substitute for Hillary Clinton.

I am angry that just because she is a woman we have to focus on treating her like she is running for Miss Wasilla again instead of the Vice President of the United States of America. Do you think that President Ahmadinejad will hold back during a debate with her on nuclear proliferation? Do you think Kim Jong-il will agree to sanctions for fear of offending her as a woman? She has to be able to answer the hard questions anyone would ask of a candidate for vice president, especially one backing up a man two years away from the average lifespan of his gender.

People were perfectly comfortable asking Barak why he is qualified without it being about the color of his skin. He isn’t focusing on his race but on his ambition to make this country strong from homeland policies to foreign policies, from citizens of the US to global partnerships, from taking care of our economy with tax cuts to the middleclass to holding corporations accountable for their practices.

I will not get distracted by the right wing Swift boat politics. I want the hard questions to be asked of ANYONE looking to lead this country, both sides. It is time for this country to change and the only way we can make the change is if everyday citizens (workers, mothers, students, CEOs, teachers, social workers, doctors, lawyers, physicists, bankers, and so on) ask the hard questions, demand clarifications, and hold the politicians feet to the fire.

Do not be distracted from the mission; bring back the America that values all of us, not the one that works to divide us. Do not make decisions based on fear. Do not vote without ever asking what, why, and how. Be a part of the solution, not the problem.

Please vote but vote smart.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Case in Point

I just broke down like a blithering idiot to a perfect stranger about everything. I should be embarrassed, but I hope that I'm actually doing some healing. (Healing always requires tears for me.)

Monday, September 8, 2008

Finally, a little productivity

Yes, this weekend we finally managed a bit of productivity. In fact, one might say we're starting - JUST - to get the hang of this family/working/kid/daycare/dog-walking/keeping-our-life-together thing.

We're certainly not pros, but this weekend we found time to exercise the dog, run errands, relax AND waterproof the deck. Two nights in a row we've made lunches. I nearly got to work on time this morning after having myself a little run/walk with A and the dog on top of the usual morning duties. Tomorrow will prove to be a bit more challenging as I have an off-site and need to be early, requiring hands off the snooze button in the morning.

It finally feels like we've got our heads above the water.

This is what we bargained for. This is what we wanted. One thing I've not had time yet to blog about is just how our start to family life has left me feeling wounded and a bit bitter. I still cry every day. Not always a lot, but every day I get choked up at least for a minute.

Several folks have offered their admiration when they find out how I pumped so that our son could eventually be exclusively breastfed. They don't know that I have to. I need him to only drink 100% mother's milk because we missed out on so much for the first three months. I NEED something to be like I planned. I also don't want him out of our bed yet, even though we agreed. Even though E is ready to have her bed back. I want to snuggle him all day (which I can't do b/c I have to contribute to our mortgage) and all night. I never want to be away from him, and I want that time back. I want a do-over. I'm still pissed that it had to happen to us. I still feel like I was given more than I could handle. I still feel desperate sometimes, and I feel cheated.

I don't know if I'll ever get over it. I've had my struggles in life. My parents had a nasty divorce. I struggled with depression. My dad passed away when I was 21. Infertility and the complete lack of control it brought. None of those things compares to the pain I experienced with A's intestinal issues. One flash of a memory of those first days, and I am on the verge of losing it. I'm not healed from what we went through, even though he is a strong boy who came through it with flying colors. He seems no worse for wear because he is an amazing and resilient boy. But me? I'm scarred. I don't know if I'll ever be the same.

Well, that's not what I sat down to write... and really, in some ways that's only the tip of the iceberg. I know our story has a happy ending. I know we are far more fortunate than many. I know my A is OK. He laughs, rolls over, gives kisses, and coos all the time. He's a wonderfully amazing little boy who has blessed me beyond all of my expectations. I hope I never, ever, have to live through that kind of fear again. So, I guess feeling like we're getting some control over life is a pretty big accomplishment. It really was a good weekend.

Friday, September 5, 2008

We made it to Friday

I admit it: I've had a really hard week. It was a short week, but this one's been a bugger for me. I'm just not adjusting well to our new life. I hate that I have to leave my son at daycare. I have a lot of frustration at my job. I wish that we were closer to family. Throw in A's 4 month shots, and it's a recipe for tears and stress. Poor E, yesterday she was fielding teary calls from me, and picking up A from daycare because he was so crabby. I'm glad it's Friday.

A's 4 month check up did go well though. He's jumped up on the growth curve. He was hovering in the 10-15 percentiles for all of his measurements, but now that he eats all breast milk all of the time, he's jumped up to the 20-25 percentiles. So big!! Nothing else noteworthy, which is also a good thing.

So, here's to hoping that we have a relaxing and productive weekend. I need a mental break from work, and I need to get organized around the house. E would probably second that motion so that I'm not such a crazy person next week.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Weekend in Review

First of all I'd like to say that I love our minivan. We had my sister K and her husband B in town all weekend, and we could take one vehicle everywhere! Nice little bonus with the van. Seriously though, it is working out well for the entire family. I am nearly looking forward to our first big trip in it: it will be so comfortable!

We had a very nice weekend with our guests. Unfortunately, E wasn't feeling particularly well (and in fact is at home this morning still trying to recover.) She has a bit of a stomache bug. Hopefully she will be nearly back to 100% by tomorrow as I have to travel for work during the day and she may end up having A by herself for a while.

We always have a nice time with K&B. They bring their big neufoundland who wants to play with Gladys. Gladys, in turn, wants to ignore Olive. It's not the best system, but somehow they work it out so that both dogs end up having a nice time. I also dragged K to a cloth diaper store where we bought more covers. I loved every second of it. Now, we have enough covers to get us through the weeks at daycare. We have lots of fun covers too, which make A's little cloth diaper butt even cuter!

We don't have any guests coming any time soon. We are going to use our weekends to get the house more in order. We have lots of little projects that need attention, things that we had planned on focusing on this summer. Now that medical emergencies are behind us, we can focus on our family life for a little while. I. can't. wait.

Friday, August 29, 2008

My candidate

I would have voted for Barack two years ago, but now that we have a family, I don't understand how anyone with kids doesn't yearn for BO's world vision. We can only accomplish as much as we aim to. I am looking forward to leadership that is aiming to make this country a better place, for everyone.