Tuesday, January 9, 2007

To skip or not to skip

Last month my cycle lasted 45 days. We had been banking on 28-30 days cycles when we planned our trip to Boston in 2 weeks. An extra 15 days is a big difference when you are trying to get pregnant. So, we realized last night that if we go to Boston, we have to skip this month unless we want to attempt to lug 2 vials of ICI across the country risking damage in flight or damage by baggage handler.

E wants to go to Boston and either take the month off or drag ICI with us. I want to stay here and stay on schedule. Of course, when we find out we're not pregnant next month and I made us cancel our trip, I will feel terrible that we never get to have any fun b/c I am so desperate to have a baby. I will attempt to spare you all a tirade about how unfair life is, but let's just say that between the anger, frustration and deep-seeded sadness - I've kind of had it with life for a little while.

E is right, there is no right or wrong decision. Although, I kind of know she's right: that we should take the trip and try to have a good time... spend a month getting our heads on straight, eating extra healthy to grow some good eggs etc.... What if my cycle gets all screwed up again when I skip the clomid for the month? What if we miss the one month that we could have gotten pregnant? What if we never get to be parents? I am so tired of all of this.

1 comment:

Erin said...

Hang in there baby! We can do this! We can figure it out together. If life were about regretting decisions we make I would have been in big trouble by age 12 from all my temper tanturms. We need to make the best decision for us at this point and then try not to look back. I love you.