Monday, January 8, 2007


We knew it was coming. Yesterday, we saw the BBT starting it's drop. We paged through scores of journal pages looking for some evidence that the inevitable was not going to happen. Yet, every month, just before AF arrived, my temp dropped to the exact same level the day before AF. Today, we proved that the consistency we strive for still is not exactly what we want.

I suppose it softened today's blow: the BBT bottomed out this a.m. and a few hours later.... confirmation that we were not successful yet again. It is sunny and beautiful here. The weather is unseasonably warm, and I should have enjoyed my morning walk with the dog. Still, the air is heavy, and my head is pounding; it might as well be a gloomy doomy day. I feel a thousand years old and then some. Today just sucks.

The plan is to call the np's office tomorrow and get confirmation that we can go another round of Clomid, plan it out, set up the next u/s etc... Then, call the fertility clinic and set an appointment for an IVF consultation for just about right after we would know next month didn't work. Of course, we're still going to keep our fingers crossed that we will be able to cancel. I won't be a mom when I'm 30, but by 31 something has to have changed!

Thank goodness we have one another. I am just so grateful that E and I are working together on this. She is an amazing woman. We have an amazing partnership, and our baby - for whom we will be eternally grateful - will have two loving parents whenever s/he finally arrives. Just hurry this up already!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This makes me sad. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers - as always but even more lately. If I could will you to have a baby, I would. You deserve a baby and that baby deserves you guys. My heart hurts for you. I love you both so much.
(By the way, it's me, Betsy, I'm not anonymous)