Wednesday, April 2, 2008

How do you feel?

I am now asked routinely how I "feel". Strangely, I get the sense that folks are looking for me to list off everything that's wrong with me. How am I supposed to answer this? By pointing out that I can no longer stand for an entire shower in the morning? By talking about how I walk the dog - taking a chair with us to the park so that I can sit for 15 minutes after walking for 10? By mentioning that I cannot sleep at night, nor can I wake in the morning?

Hearing myself complain throughout the day will just make the complaints all the more real, right? ... and I have more than a month to go. I can't be miserable yet. I have so much work to do at work, and we have so much to finish at home - mind over matter is what I say.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't complain to E. She gets to hear every ache and pain, possibly multiple times a day. She is also, of course, incredibly sweet. She willingly ties my shoes so that I don't have to bend down (walking shoes must be worn for walks or I will last only moments. Walking shoes are not slip-ons.) She is happy to rub my aching back...

So, how do I feel? I feel like I'm 8 months pregnant. I'm happy that I've not gained too much weight (17 lbs total as of last appt). I'm happy that my wife understands my daily bath-after-work needs. I also feel like I'll be happy to "get my body back", so that it's mine again. (Yes, I know it will never be the same. That's fine.) I'll be glad to stop counting my carbs incessantly. It will be nice to have a bladder larger than a dime. I've been ready to drink gallons of black iced tea since I gave it up last fall. I'm ready to be done with appointment after appointment, and I feel like my back might break in half if I don't sit down.

I also know that our son isn't ready to come out yet. From what I've read, his digestive system and lungs aren't really ready for the world yet. He has to gain a bit more weight before he's ready too. Since he is the ultimate goal, and the one that I'm busy taking care of, I feel like I'm not yet ready for him to come. I feel like he won't be ready for at least a month, and so I have to stay in a mental place that allows me to cope with the discomfort and inconveniences of being pregnant because he's worth it, and so am I.

14 comments:

kwillmetta said...

Well, no matter how you feel, you SOUND fantastic. Way to go, eye on the prize...yada, yada. And Erin shouldn't have to shovel any more snow! (fingers crossed.)

R said...

That's so sweet. You can do it. You are almost there. So lucky to have such a good partner who doesn't mind doing all that fun stuff for you :) Can't wait to meet the little one and see all his cute pics!!!

Jamie said...

It is amazing how much better you will feel after he is out of your body! :) He will be worth all of it but you will physically feel SOOO much better!! :) Hang in there -- you've almost made it to the finish line!

Mrs. Bluemont said...

You're one wise woman. I am so impressed and have no doubt you'll make it to your due date. Much love and comfort. ox

Alissa said...

Such a great post. I can't believe he'll be here in a month!

Anonymous said...

When C ran the SF marathon, I went with the cheering crowd and they told us some key pointers on cheering on marathon runners. One of the biggest was to not yell "your almost there" because chances are, they weren't. Once again I am tempted because a month seems like a short amount of time but instead I will say, "you're doing great, keep up the good work!"
lots of love,
lil c

Holly said...

I love it! It sounds like you are doing just fine! You will feel better when you get your body back all to yourself! But it is all worth it in the end (LOL - I can say that because I've never been pregnant!!)
I can't believe you only have a month to go! WOW!! How exciting!

MaMaMia said...

Didn't intend to be the one asking the annoying question!! We just hadn't heard about you, and I was concerned. Glad to know you're feeling exactly how you should be at this point. Growing a baby is hard work--especially when it's starting to take over your personal space!

E, M, and the Little Man said...

Yeah, that whole "How're ya feeling" is weird because you never know if people are just being polite or if they remember how it was like when they were pregnant, or if they are making sure the baby is okay, or what.

You are so close to the end! Hang in there. It's amazing how normal you feel again after the baby is born! It's almost instant, if I remember right. :)

Poltzie said...

I feel the exact same way! Not too much longer for either of us now though (hopefully!).
Congrats on the small weight gain - I thought I was doing well at 25lbs, you are amazing!

Chris K said...

Thank you for saying outloud everything that I am feeling too. Way to go us!!!

teakettle3 said...

Vic echoes all of your words! You're in the home stretch now! You can do it!!

MaMaMia said...

I understand how annoying some questions can be. I wanted to have a t-shirt printed with the following:
Due Date: 3/12
No, we did not find out what sex we are having.
No, we are not sharing names until the baby is born.
Thanks for your concern!

The other thing that I got was totally RUDE comments from my co-workers. "Sure you don't have twins in there" "Hi Chubby" "You're really filling out those bibs!" Wow, some people really know how to make a pregnant woman feel great!! BTW, the chubby and twins comments actually came from another MOM! I guess I can laugh about it now. . .barely.

Dr. Grumbles said...

yep, he will be worth it!