Sunday, January 27, 2008

We moved to Dullville

I feel like my posts are so uninspired lately. We never have any news to report, and when we were TTCing, everything was news... BFN's were news, symptoms were news, nothingness was also news. News just doesn't come so easily anymore. I can't blog about each and every little kick because that's boring! ...but, as it turns out, so is everything else. The baby is fine, everything is normal; we are happy; we are going about our life and doing a little nesting here and there... it's just not news.

Are you all still going to be friends with us now that we're just so dull? Now that the rollercoaster was packed up and shipped out?

The thing is that I feel like we need you all more than ever. Sure, life is kind of rosy over here at the Village, but our life - although plodding along at a reasonable pace- is getting turned upside down.. slowly on a day to day basis, but my GAWD is life different than it was 6 months ago, and I can barely imagine what life will be like 6 months from now! And, the truth is, that even though we are happy and healthy overall, I have really shitty days and things seem big and overwhelming sometimes. I have never questioned our decision to have a baby, nor our route to achieving said family status, but I am still shocked at times at how I feel. When I'm sitting quietly and I realize that I'm scared, overwhelmed, or just plain uncomfortable... I'm ultimately confused. Didn't I choose this? didn't we come here willingly, together, and lovingly? It's also true that E and I have a rock solid relationship where we love eachother above all else... but I had no idea she could drive me so crazy! Were we both insane to think we were ready for this?

Of course I know the answers to these questions, but being able to rely on you means more to me than I can put into words. Just knowing that you're out there and ready if necessary, helps me to remember that I'm not quite so alone, which I've felt quite a bit now that we're expecting yet we are hundreds upon hundreds of miles away from the people that really love us IRL.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm sorry we're so dull over here, but thank you for being there for us because we love you. We love having you, and I'm so grateful you have clicked into our life.

18 comments:

Keri said...

Well you have me! And while I'm not as excited as you & E about this upcoming arrival, I bet I'm at least 1/2!! :)
Keep blogging about it all. And when you're feeling dull, talk about the crazy stuff.
We love every part of you! xo!

Two Mamas said...

Visit your website daily and enjoy seeing your updates!

Keep up the great posting and right now --- boring is good!!

Of course, you only have 100 more days of boring or so - then we'll get to the fun part!

Shawna
www.chiutenblack.com

jay said...

Can I just say something here? I'd just like to say I am VERY GLAD that you're having a dull pregnancy and not being rushed to the ER or whatever. I hope it continues being dull until after the part where the baby comes out. And then you get to be exciting again! Deal?

E said...

i'm still hanging around these parts- though have not been the best commenter lately.

i could relate to your questioning. i love our little guy so much, and as you know we moved mountains to get pregnant. and yet there have been times when i find myself day (or rather night) dreaming about the freedom i used to have and the things A and I could do as a couple. i think it's natural to mourn your 'old life' as you settle into the new one. this does not mean you don't want the baby that you tried so hard to create. but it's hard to rationalize that. i've been working through it a lot in the last several days.

enoughgrows said...

i could have written your post on my blog...
just wanted to de-lurk to say i love reading you blog and pregnant news is always nice to read!

i'll try to comment more often..between vomits.

kwillmetta said...

Sorry, can't get rid of me by being "dull" (as if,)I'm hooked. And this is just the lull before the storm, shall we say...once Tot is here you will have lots to share, and we shall suck of every bit of new mothers-hood commentary (and pictures, don't forget pictures) like hungry sponges...just wait!

tbean said...

Of course you are dull right now! You're expecting a baby in 100 days! (Holy crow!) What wonderful news that your pregnancy is so dull and uneventful so far...after all you went through to get here, I'm so glad that it has been a complication free journey so far.

As for the other part of your post, I feel like I could have written it myself. And while we're not pregnant yet, I am stunned, sometimes, at how much I feel like I want something that I still at times feel confused and ambivalent about. How could I desire something so greatly when I'm not completely sure I'm ready for it or want it or will love it once it happens??? S. always says to me: "But I'm still so scared to be a mom." My best answer is just, "Of course we're scared. This is the biggest change we could ever go through. If we weren't scared, there'd be something wrong. In fact...most parents aren't scared ENOUGH, in my opinion."

So yes, I hear you on this. And I can only imagine being 6 months pregnant and thinking--Holy Shit! Am I ready for this? Do I even want this?

But you are ready. As ready as any two first time parents ever are. And it's okay to be scared. You're still going to love it and love him to bits.

E and M, jumpingoutoftrees said...

We are in the same boat over here. Just going along. E frequently tells me I need to blog, and I always think, "about what?" Like you, we are glad we're this boring. The pregnancy just moves along slowly and successfully. Keep telling us about it. We check your blog daily...at least.

Ali said...

You got us too! and for the record, we don't think you are dull. La keeps checking the mail for her carrot cake, though :-)

SaraS-P said...

No news is fan-frickin-tastic news!

Dull is wonderful. Parenthood will so utterly un-dull, why use up all the excitement now?

vee said...

I too am delighted that your pregnancy has been dull and lacking in emergency room visits or high drama. Of course we're still around and still reading, and looking forward to about 99 days from now!! We're glad you love us, and we love you too!

And if you're really worried, you could blog more about the scary, overwhelming, uncomforatble, shocking and confusing things that you allude to in your post - I'm sure you're not alone!

Anonymous said...

I'm here supportively and spiritually leading the cheers and understanding the tears and fears and the questions that you as first time parents are experiencing. I've been there with the questions of "Can I do this? Are we doing the right thing?" and that was 32 years ago! Saying "good-bye" to the comfortable past and saying "hello" to a new life to be lived as a family is just a little overwhelming at times. You both have the love, skills, energy, heart, ability, character and smarts to be extraordinary parents. Tot, if you agree with me give a kick! Sending blessings, hugs and lots of love Dad

Anonymous said...

Wow! I am impressed with the support that you have from your Blog-mates. What wonderful comments, empathy, and support. Treasure them and I know that you do. Love you. Dad

Renee and Janice said...

You two are so NOT dull! No worries!!
And congrats on being in doubledigitville :)

ajs4ever said...

Don't worry we aren't going anywhere. Just think of all the fun you will have once the little on is here!!

mrsbluemont said...

ditto all the other brilliant comments. i'm happy you're having a dull pregnancy! and i can't wait to follow your journey through the rest of your pregnancy and your babe's new life. you are such incredible mums-to-be and the uncertainty about the whole situation is understandable. we're here for you love. oxxo

E, M, and the Little Man said...

I had a lot of similar thoughts when I was pregnant. I think it was a combination of the hormones, lack of sleep, and HUGE life change ahead. I would lie awake at night having deep thoughts. I think it's pretty normal.

I have to say your dad sounds amazing and so supportive. You guys are very lucky!!!

Holly said...

A. You guys are not dull
B. Wait until your conversation revolves around what color poop that diaper was!!

LOL!!!!