Breathe (and, it’s only a job…)

Tonight we start learning how to give birth. Well, I suppose S’s body has been learning and adjusting for 183 days. But now we will attend classes on what to expect, how to deal with things, and what to watch for! My role will start to expand now, as I prepare to support my wife through the amazing feat of bringing a life into the world!

Now that we have duked it out with the MW and the MBC, we are WAY more comfortable with our birth plan. I think, and hope, the things we learn during the classes they offer (15 hours of them) will really enhance that comfort and knowledge. I can’t believe we are to the point that we are starting to actually physically prepare for the big day!

We have also signed up for a few other classes at the wonderful locally owned baby store. We will be taking cloth diapering and wearing your baby (to help us pick out a sling we like most) in the coming month. These two classes will help us achieve some of the parenting style we hope to be able to incorporate in our lives. I say hope because in our fear-based world people tend to tell you all the negatives they experienced. Not only do they share their negative experience but also they almost try to make it sound inevitable that you will likely be in misery like they were. (How many more people can tell us we will not like our dog after Tot arrives…give me a break have you see her?) True, I am the hopeless optimist in our family but I tend to strongly believe in self-fulfilling prophesies. I like to do my part to make sure that if I am mentally predetermining my future, I would prefer it has a good outcome. (Don’t get me wrong I understand the concept of, “If I’m prepared for the worst I will be pleasantly surprised by the mediocre.”) So, we are determined to try and hopefully be able to incorporate some of the following in our quest and reality of being parents:

1. Water/natural birth at a birth center
2. Co-breast feeding
3. Going home the same day as the birth
4. Cloth diapering (well, we may cheat a bit with these)
5. Wearing our baby
6. Loving our pets even after Tot’s arrival
7. Parenting with Love and Logic (please excuse the excessive use of religion in this book, the concept is the best part! Thanks for the book dad!)
8. Continuing to travel
9. Removing the societal norm of fear-based decision making (i.e. LIVING LIFE)
10. Working together as parents to maintain consistency in our techniques
11. Maintaining a healthy understanding and balance between our wishes and desires for our children and their temperament, aptitude, and goals.

Cerebral and full of high hopes? We hope so! This is one very important job! We are now in the business of creating a future adult.

We're outta here!

Two years ago in February S and I decided we needed to run off, get away, and just DO something to save our souls from the winter dull drums. Well another winter storm has hit; freezing temps, blowing snow, and ice. It is time to get out of Dodge!

We haven't found the place yet but here is the plan:

1. Rent a dog friendly cabin in Somewhere, WI.
2. Pack the car with games and warm clothes.
3. Treating ourselves to gourmet snacks, cheeses, and deserts.
4. Plan a wonderful menu with good soul warming ingredients.
5. Pack the dog up!
6. Go for long or short walks in the woods.
7. Enjoy each other; this will be most likely our last, last minute adventure before parenthood.

The plan is to take a half-day off on Friday to pack, shop, and drive. We'll be back on Monday for work, fresh, rejuvenated, and ready to finish the final push toward the big birth day, which is only 98 days away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, we cannot thank you all enough for all the wonderful, supportive, and encouraging comments from S's post about being dull. We are so grateful for each of you that comment. It brings a nice boost to our days.

For those of you that read but do not comment just know that it doesn't hurt; you don't have to get a password, sign in as anonymous and just put your name at the end of the comment. We know many of our "real life" friends and family read and it would be wonderful to hear your thoughts!

Dad, you are a rock for us. Even the blog world wants a piece of you! You get a lot of comments about your comments and support for us. I knew, all these years, we weren't crazy for thinking you're the best! We are not alone!

The double-digit countdown

We are down to two digits... 99 days to go until our EDD. We have so much to get done!

We moved to Dullville

I feel like my posts are so uninspired lately. We never have any news to report, and when we were TTCing, everything was news... BFN's were news, symptoms were news, nothingness was also news. News just doesn't come so easily anymore. I can't blog about each and every little kick because that's boring! ...but, as it turns out, so is everything else. The baby is fine, everything is normal; we are happy; we are going about our life and doing a little nesting here and there... it's just not news.

Are you all still going to be friends with us now that we're just so dull? Now that the rollercoaster was packed up and shipped out?

The thing is that I feel like we need you all more than ever. Sure, life is kind of rosy over here at the Village, but our life - although plodding along at a reasonable pace- is getting turned upside down.. slowly on a day to day basis, but my GAWD is life different than it was 6 months ago, and I can barely imagine what life will be like 6 months from now! And, the truth is, that even though we are happy and healthy overall, I have really shitty days and things seem big and overwhelming sometimes. I have never questioned our decision to have a baby, nor our route to achieving said family status, but I am still shocked at times at how I feel. When I'm sitting quietly and I realize that I'm scared, overwhelmed, or just plain uncomfortable... I'm ultimately confused. Didn't I choose this? didn't we come here willingly, together, and lovingly? It's also true that E and I have a rock solid relationship where we love eachother above all else... but I had no idea she could drive me so crazy! Were we both insane to think we were ready for this?

Of course I know the answers to these questions, but being able to rely on you means more to me than I can put into words. Just knowing that you're out there and ready if necessary, helps me to remember that I'm not quite so alone, which I've felt quite a bit now that we're expecting yet we are hundreds upon hundreds of miles away from the people that really love us IRL.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm sorry we're so dull over here, but thank you for being there for us because we love you. We love having you, and I'm so grateful you have clicked into our life.

Photo Friday: My favorite treat

I have lots of favorite treats... butter pecan ice cream, cheesecake, my mom's fudge, chocolate chip cookies... this past birthday, though, my favorite gal made the most delicious carrot cake EVER. She is now relegated to repeating her success every year for many years to come.

All hail E's delicious carrot cake!

Made my day!

Congrats to our friends J and T! This little guy is so lucky to have your two as doting dads! My heart is leaping for all three of you!

25 weeks

I'm having one of those days where I have 1400 emotions at once. I've started to write this post 6 times in the last 3 minutes, each one in an entirely different mood.

Anxiety: Work is not going well, and it's not getting better yet. I'm waking up in the middle of the night over it, brimming with tears at a moment's notice while sitting quietly in yoga class etc... There is a lot of change, a lack of direction... but most of all, I'm not feeling like I'm in control of my own destiny. Anyone who knows me IRL knows that I must, above all, feel like I'm in the driver's seat (even if it is a farce.) I'm wrangling with how to feel like I'm master of my own universe again, and so far I've had no luck due to continuing and new events cropping up and pulling the rug out from under me. My newest tactic will have to be figuring out how to let go - as if I've EVER been able to do that before in my life. (Control-freak much?)

Productive Contentment: Contrary to my feelings above, I actually have felt quite productive in the last two days. E and I (finally) re-joined the YMCA and went swimming on Monday night - water aerobics, actually. It was fantastic! No danger of falling on ice or having G pull me down in her excitement to get to the park and play Frisbee. Nope, just lots of buoyancy so that I could get my heart rate up and feel really good after an hour. I also went to yoga last night. I'm a slightly bigger fan of swimming, but yoga-take-2 was much better than my first attempt. I only had a bit of reflux and my cold has waned so I could breathe. I feel like I can get quite a bit out of that class, and that feels good. Two nights in a row of something like getting back into shape... or is it getting in shape for labor and delivery... or perhaps it's just something to take the edge off of aforementioned anxiety.

Tired of hearing myself complain: See above.

Enjoying the changes over this last week: Tot is still kicking mightily. Now, he's kicking hard enough that I was able to actually see a kick! He has also taken to doing some major cartwheels in there. I think we may have a future gymnast on our hands! I am having some minor back pain now, and my headaches are quite constant (could be due to various factors, so I shouldn't blame it on him!) Luckily, E is the best; she is happy to rub my temples or my back/neck etc... and help ease the ache until the Ty.lenol kicks in. E and I have discovered that I no longer have an aversion to spinach, so we had a touch of summer last night w/ a delicious spinach salad (spinach, blue cheese, walnuts, strawberries and homemade lemon-thyme dressing.) Delicious!

So, that's just a sampling of how I'm doing in any one moment. Give props to my E, who swears she's not even sick of me yet. She's a rock star, and then some.

The weekend update

E and I had a very nice weekend. Last week, we decided that we had been shut ins long enough! So, Saturday we braved the frigid temperatures (-26 with windchill one morning!!,) and we attended a fundraising brunch, met the cutest smoosh-face of a baby that our friends are adopting, and THEN - yes three outings in ONE day!- then we visited with some other friends who are preggo too. This worked out especially well: we brought our dog so that she could play with their dog. Our friend S is also preggo, so she and I munched on cookies and fruit while our friend M and E drank beers. All of this over good conversation and some Trivial Pursuit. A perfect Saturday night if you ask me.

Sunday, we spent the afternoon at Bord.ers and perused the baby-reading section. We purchased one book with a gift certificate and vowed to use up the rest of the certificate after we have our shower and want to add additional kids' books to our library. Of course, we used the evening to eat pizza and ice cream - well, OK that's what I did. E watched the Pa.cker game. Personally, I am relieved they lost. No more football (on the news, in the paper, in the hallways at work) until next season. Phew!

Today we may be in the midst of another snow storm. Luckily, the high today is above zero. Sure, it "feels like 0" according to the weather site, but there are no "-" signs in front of the numbers, so we have slight improvement.

The extra bonus for today: G went to doggie daycare this morning. G's daycare had been closed for roof repair the last two weeks. With the ludicrously cold weather and the naturally delicate condition of our human skin she was terribly short on an energy outlet. (She couldn't care less about delicate human skin. She has two coats of fur and an amazingly exuberant love for snow and cold.) We managed to sneak her onto today's docket for doggie daycare, so she will be a giant tired lump tonight. Yahoo!! She will still go on her regularly scheduled day, which means two days of lumpy G this week! That's definitely the best part of my Monday.

Life.........

How is one supposed to live in -20 degree weather? The dog and I had icicles on our eyelids last night at the end of our walk. I spent half of the time she was chasing the Frisbee hiding behind a tree to block the wind. I'm certainly not sending my pregnant wife out in that. She definitely needs to be soaking in a warm tub soothing her aching back. Life is so fair...........

On another note we have been so busy this week. Last week we were grumbling about not having anything to do (besides housework and projects) that we moped around all weekend feeling sorry for ourselves. By Monday we had plans nearly every night and felt like we couldn't get a minute to catch our breath. Life is so interesting........

Furthermore, I am amazed at the physical changes (and no I don't have any belly shots to share of her) that S has gone through in the last 4 weeks. At Christmas time I was thinking she was looking pregnant now there is no denying it. I feel Tot kick just about once a day and S is now waking up due to a good ole one two from our tough little son! Life is so amazing............

Finally, S is truly a rockstar. Not just due to creating a life within her body but for her resilience. She hasn't really had the best week at work but also sees that is isn't the worst. On Tuesday the work felt crushing to her, on Wednesday she was talking about the positives regarding the situation, and now she is charging away to be the best at what she is doing. It really doesn't surprise me one bit that she is determined to make the best of it and come out on top. She is definitely driven and when it comes to work, if she is the best she doesn't feel like she is giving enough. This isn't to say that she works 80 hours a week, that is not S. She works more than required but makes family a priority. The things she does though that most of us struggle to figure out how to do, is to work hard, fast, and with accuracy saving herself loads of time! Just don't make small talk with her while she is working! ;) S makes all the things I mentioned above worthwile, possible, and true!

Life..............

24 weeks

That means 16 weeks to go. We are 60% through this pregnancy. 3/5 of the way to meeting Tot!

This past week, Tot seems to have grown quite a bit stronger. His kicks are far more frequent and far more powerful. My belly has popped out noticeably more as well. This week I've also had some terrible sugar cravings. We've since eradicated the crap food from the house to help keep me in line.

I also started yoga. Unfortunately, the experience isn't what I had hoped for. I'm crossing my fingers that next week will be better. This week, the remnants of my cold made the regulated breathing absolutely unbearable. In addition, every time I put my head below my waist I was instantly engulfed by acid reflux. Yuck. So, next week I will not eat beforehand and hope that change will bring about a more pleasant experience.

To add a bit of insult to injury, I had the 'flux all night last night even after I was done hanging my head. I think I consumed 1/2 of the bottle of T.ums last night. We've been calling them my "candy" because I need 2-3 every night at bed time, but last night was outrageous!

The last week hasn't been as miserable as the last two paragraphs imply. I love to feel how Tot is growing, and we are looking forward to getting more done at the house this weekend in preparation for his arrival. 16 weeks to go!

Appt News

We had a midwife appointment last night that went very nicely. No big news to report, which is a very good thing. Tot's heartbeat is still in the 150-160 range. He is growing nicely. She measured my belly w/ a tape measure and reported that her findings were "perfect".

In other news, things at work have been a bit crazy the last two days. I'm hoping that all of the changes go smoothly as I haven't much stamina these days for anything too intense.

So, everyone is healthy and doing well!

Not noteworthy, but productive

E & I had a very nice weekend. We did not do anything of any significance, but we did manage to get quite a few tasks accomplished:

• Thank you notes from Christmas (finally!!)
• Mailing a few parcels (and above-mentioned notes)
• Filling out paperwork for the legal baby stuff coming up
• Going through our stack of mail & papers and separating into important/keep v. throw it away
• Put up the new light in the nursery, re-attached wall plates, patched a hole in the wall
• E shoveled the driveway (AGAIN!!)
• Signed up for "the art of baby-wearing" and "cloth diapers 101"

We also managed to do a few fun things:

• Watched Oceans 13
• Watched The Queen
• Had a nice Sunday brunch
• Took Gladys to the dog park and on a few nice walks

Next weekend, we actually have social plans. Yahoo!! I hope we've not forgotten how to be fun! I also start my prenatal yoga this week, and I am truly looking forward to it. I've never taken any yoga classes before, so this will be a brand new experience. I'm hoping the class will re-invigorate my motivation for exercise. Walking the dog in the dark, damp cold just doesn't do it for me. My cold has also finally receded, so I will be up for starting water aerobics and swimming this week. (It may have been an excuse, but I could not imagine getting anything positive out of swimming when not able to breathe on my own.)

I feel like the holidays are truly behind us and we are now focusing on getting things in order for when Tot arrives. I can feel my anxiety and excitement rising every time I think about him. We're conceivably just 4 months away!!

What a way to wake up!

This morning S woke me up, put my hand on her belly and our son gave me about 5 high fives! It was awesome! Good morning TOT!

23 Weeks

The time between 18 and 22 weeks just rushed on by! I'm sure the holidays helped a bit with that. It seems things have slowed down quite a bit now. It didn't help that I caught E's nasty cold and am still working to fight it off. The pace of life, however, has resumed something close to normal, which is a very good thing.

This past week was a good one for me and baby. He is really kicking now, and I love it. And, other than that, I have no real changes to report.

Next week, I'm scheduled to start prenatal yoga, and I'm really looking forward to it. I think I am going to also attempt to join the water aerobics class, but maybe not all in the same week - for now all of that dog walking might have to suffice.

wow! 23 weeks!

It's 46 degrees today *Updated*

Earlier this week we had temps below zero. Now, we have temps approaching 50 degrees. wow! Lucky for us, our near-record snowfall combined with these high temperatures = leaking gutters and rooftops. Yes, our dining room lamp has been dripping for two days. Our blinds in the dining room are completely trashed- traces of yellow schmutz on them from the leakage that drained from the roof to the gutter, through the wall and down onto the shades (and into the big drip-catching pots.) I won't even talk about the garage.

The weekend hasn't been all leaks, though. We also have worked a bit on baby's room, purchasing a new light fixture (the old one was HIDEOUS) and a new rug.

Most importantly, E felt Tot kick for the first time the other day. Yahoo! He's in there and now she can feel him too!!! So far, this kicking business is my favorite part of the pregnancy. I feel like he is always giving me 1-2 punches, and so far I love each and every one of them.

*Now the paint in our dining room is peeling off from all of the humidity in there!*

I love Spaghetti Squash

S, did you fall out of your seat? :)

Today I read that Tot is about the size of a spagetti squash.


I hate squash but now I know I can love one! :) I just hope he doesn't come out looking like "prepared" spagetti squash when he is done cooking in S's belly...


.....YIKES!

New Year, Old Year, and lots of updates! (updated with pics)

We had a very nice anniversary, thank you all for the well wishes and S thank you for being my other half! Lots more memories to come!

S is down and out with a cold. I hate to admit that it is probably the same cold that I’m still shaking the end of but it is. Her night has consisted of lots of restlessness. Poor thing. At least I was able to take something; it just isn’t fun to watch her try to fight it off without the support of the FDA (like they are any help anyway.) Lots of love and care is my prescription (and off duty for dog walking) for her.

To jump back a few weeks, I had a meltdown with the MW office just before we left for Christmas. I was so frustrated because they hadn’t done anything to move my lactation induction protocol along. They didn’t even read the protocol for two weeks. I was planning to start the meds on the 23rd. All of a sudden they wanted to do a complete physical on me before prescribing the meds. I was so angry I told them all about how disappointed we were in their care, how I was an afterthought, and how we had been considering leaving. I also told them why we originally picked them for the birth and how we were shocked at how different the care is from their verbal philosophy. Well, something I did got their attention because they called me back that day (the 20th). They called in the prescription for the birth control and made a full appointment to just talk about lactation induction for the 28th. They would then call in the other drug for me. Still frustrated but better because of said actions, S and I went on to MI for Christmas.

I rescheduled our appointment with the MW for the 29th due to a snowstorm on the 28th. We had a great appointment. The owner of the MBC apologized without blame, excuse, and dodging the questions. I accepted and explained that I would prefer to only work with the MW and not with the Lactation Expert (that is another story but to say the least she is a sheepish wimp that is totally unhelpful when it comes to lactation inductions, though I’m sure she is great once baby and mom are trying to get the goods to work). OMW (owner midwife) was fine with that and had great insight as to what we needed to do and recommendations about how to move forward. She skipped the annual exam part and just prescribed the drugs! So it is official, I’m on birth control for the fist time in my life at 30 and I am so pleased I don’t have to stay on it more than 5 months. I will start the other drug shortly and be well on my way to making milk! Oh, and we are back in love with the MBC, its philosophies, and are excited to have Tot in their facility!

In other Tot news, we worked all day yesterday and part of the day on the 31st on nursery stuff. I got the stencils all cut out and painted on the wall and S got the top of the quilt done! They look so awesome. I was so proud of us both that I couldn’t stop raving about our accomplishments last night!

The wall of raining letters!



The amazingly wonderful quilt top!



Together!



Happy New Year all! It is sure to be one for the books for us!!!!!!! Come on Tot….get here already!