20 weeks and a whole new reality

We are officially halfway through the "average" pregnancy. Of course, I realize that the avg first pregnancy goes 8 days late... Still, 20 weeks is something to celebrate! Especially now that we know we're having a little boy!!!

Despite having 10 bazillion things to accomplish before leaving to see our families on Friday afternoon, E and I spent last night talking about our little boy and shopping around for little boy clothes. I simply cannot believe the reality that has set in now that we know he's a BOY!! Buying those little outfits - I just imagined him in those little shoes and socks, sporting the sweater vest and looking astoundingly adorable in his little overalls... all this, and with 4.5 months left to go before we meet him!

I cannot fully describe the rush of emotion I had when we learned that Tot is a boy. Of course, one must wonder why one feels the way one does when one is so surprised by one's own reactions, doesn't one? I think that finding out that he's a boy brought on a new sense for me- a sense that he is a real person who will be here in just a few months... we are, after all, already halfway! He is a real person who depends on me now and will depend on us when he's here. I am going to be a mom FOR. THE. REST. OF. MY. LIFE. Of course, it is not that I didn't realize this before, but I now understand this in an entirely new way. (I'm betting that his arrival will up that realization about 400 thousand times...)

Holding those little sweaters and overalls, I could imagine our son in them. I don't know exactly what he will look like when he is born (although, by the pictures, no one can deny that he'll be darn good looking!!), but I could sense him, there, in those little clothes, looking at me, looking at us. This morning when I looked at his picture again, I fell in love with our baby - I've reached a whole new level of love for this child growing inside of me, and I didn't even realize it was possible.

A boy has finally stolen my heart.