Wednesday, December 19, 2007

20 weeks and a whole new reality

We are officially halfway through the "average" pregnancy. Of course, I realize that the avg first pregnancy goes 8 days late... Still, 20 weeks is something to celebrate! Especially now that we know we're having a little boy!!!

Despite having 10 bazillion things to accomplish before leaving to see our families on Friday afternoon, E and I spent last night talking about our little boy and shopping around for little boy clothes. I simply cannot believe the reality that has set in now that we know he's a BOY!! Buying those little outfits - I just imagined him in those little shoes and socks, sporting the sweater vest and looking astoundingly adorable in his little overalls... all this, and with 4.5 months left to go before we meet him!

I cannot fully describe the rush of emotion I had when we learned that Tot is a boy. Of course, one must wonder why one feels the way one does when one is so surprised by one's own reactions, doesn't one? I think that finding out that he's a boy brought on a new sense for me- a sense that he is a real person who will be here in just a few months... we are, after all, already halfway! He is a real person who depends on me now and will depend on us when he's here. I am going to be a mom FOR. THE. REST. OF. MY. LIFE. Of course, it is not that I didn't realize this before, but I now understand this in an entirely new way. (I'm betting that his arrival will up that realization about 400 thousand times...)

Holding those little sweaters and overalls, I could imagine our son in them. I don't know exactly what he will look like when he is born (although, by the pictures, no one can deny that he'll be darn good looking!!), but I could sense him, there, in those little clothes, looking at me, looking at us. This morning when I looked at his picture again, I fell in love with our baby - I've reached a whole new level of love for this child growing inside of me, and I didn't even realize it was possible.

A boy has finally stolen my heart.

15 comments:

Alissa said...

Such a beautiful post. I'm so excited for you both. Thanks for including all of us in this amazing journey!

Keri said...

...a boy has stolen your heart... Who knew? What a blessing and what a beautiful post.
I can't wait to see pictures of your son in a little sweater!

Anonymous said...

A lump of love with your posts, phone calls, and pictures and a mountain of love in the making. Hugs to everyone. Dad

possiblemaybe said...

For me, finally being able to use the proper pronoun & referring to Speck as HE was such a HUGE, meaningful thing. I completely 100% understand what you mean when you say that you're in love with your boy. I feel the exact same thing; amazing.

possiblemaybe said...

ps. Note to Dad above - what a sweet, loving, supportive man you are. Seriously, I get warm fuzzies reading all of your notes :)

K J and the kids said...

Just wait until the boy gets here....your heart will bust open, it will explode, it will bleed a new found love for this tiny little baby.

Merr said...

That is awesome! That is exactly how I felt when we found out we were having a boy.

vee said...

First off, I can't believe you're HALF WAY already! Goog grief!

I'd really like to know the sex too, when we get knocked up. I can really imagine how it helps you envisage your son. Your SON!

ohchicken said...

well now i'm just a teary happy lump sitting here in my cubicle. i'm so happy for you guys.

Renee and Janice said...

That is WoNDErFUL! What a great post!! I am sure it was fabulous to realize thta a little boy has stolen your heart. I am so excited to see him once he gets here :) HALFWAY THERe NOW!!!

bleu said...

Yup, and you will fall in love, deeply madly in love over and over again with that boy and it will amaze and astound you for the rest of your life.

So beautiful to read your journey and joy.

J said...

I am so utterly happy for you girls.
Your little boy is going to be amazing.

steinbockfrau said...

so, so sweet!
happy 20 weeks!

YAY!

SaraS-P said...

Hooray for little boys!

sandra said...

Yay!!! I'm so excited for your son to meet your niece. They're going to be fast friends.