Happy Anniversary

Three years ago today, E and I exchanged these words in front of 80 friends and family:

I am grateful to you for all that you are.
Before you, I was content to live life.
With you, I am inspired to experience all of God's creation.
I cherish the qualities you bring to our relationship.
You are my friend.
You are my most intimate companion.
Thank you for your love, your support, and your strength;
Thank you for your tears and your laughter.
Today, I give you my heart.
I promise to honor you in life.
I will remain faithful for all time.
I will nurture our relationship.
I will support your growth spiritually and personally.
I promise to listen to you.
I will encourage you.
I promise to endure good times and bad
To spend my life, forever, with you.
I love you.

Thank you for the best 6.5 years of my life (so far!) Thank you for working with me to make our dreams come true. I love you with my entire heart. You are my most intimate companion, and I promise to endure good times and bad to spend my life, forever, with you.

I love you.

AAAAHHHHCK!!!

I'm leaking!!!

Truly, the strangest pregnancy symptom yet.

21 weeks and another daycare visit

I'm trying to see 21 weeks as our actual halfway point. I'm not sure this strategy will work, but I'm hoping to be better prepared to go late this way... I'm guessing that regardless, at 8.5 months along when I'm bigger than a barge, I will be VERY ready... but I'm trying. :-)

This week has been too crazy to really notice any changes from the week before. I have felt Tot move a bit more, but wish I felt him more. I feel that for someone as "in tune" with her body as I have become, I don't feel him nearly as much as I should. I guess it's as good a place as any to project my baby/pregnancy-related anxiety, so I'll leave it at that. Other than that, my sneezing has died down, and I still gag quite a bit (for no reason in particular... it's annoying!) I'm sleeping well at night, especially now that we're home in our own bed. I am starting to get winded more easily, and I'm looking forward to joining the gym again and getting back into a swimming routine. I don't know what's happening w/ any cravings/aversions as the Christmas snacks have intruded on any regular eating routine. In general, I'm eating quite normally again, which is also quite a relief. I think I may be able to fully enjoy our anniversary dinner next week!

In other news, we toured a second facility today in search of the Best Daycare Ever. We really liked this place. I think it helped that we

1. weren't as overwhelmed since we had been on a tour once before and knew a bit of what to expect/ask and
2. knew this place was a bit more affordable than the last.

We are scheduling a few more places, but we're starting to get a feel for not only what's out there, but also what's important to us. I think we'll be able to have something decided in the next month or so, which feels very good as we have so many other things to start working on before Tot arrives!!

Home again, home again jiggety jig

We were quite the mid-western travelers over the last few days. 3 cities and four states... plenty for 4.5 days, for sure!

We had nice visits with our families, and Tot even received his first Christmas gifts! Little shoes, a piggy bank, a counting a book and the best onsie ever, that says "Hatched by two chicks." Fantastic! He's going to be well dressed and well educated!

We are happy to be home: happy to not be running around, and exceedingly happy to have slept in our own bed last night. This will be a short week, which is all one can handle after all of the holiday cheer.

Welcome back, and let the countdown to 2008 begin!

It's the most wonderful (ly busy) time of the year

Why is it that I have to have so much anxiety over the holidays?

Love cooking/baking and eating? - CHECK
Love gift wrap (such pretty paper) - CHECK
Love my sisters and my mom - CHECK
Love spending time with family - CHECK
Love playing games and making crafts - CHECK
Love watching Gladys play in the snow - CHECK

So, why oh WHY do I have an anxiety attack every time we're about to leave for MI....?

I really do love this time of year, but packing up and heading out and then driving from one place to another with no hours to spare... it just really wears on me. This year the anxiety is a bit lower as I've adjusted my mental framework in a few key ways... I'll leave that for another post. Still, I honestly don't have the energy I usually do, and the busyness just overwhelms me, and it hasn't even truly yet begun!

I don't mean to complain so much. Everyone is so happy to see us (and why wouldn't they be?), which is a nice welcome every time. We just have to cram so much into two days with my fam and one day (this year) w/ E's fam - it's a lot of work. Of course, we have to let Tot spend time with his cousins and aunts and uncles - obviously, not going to see the extended fam is NOT an option.

So, we leave tomorrow from work. We are packing the car tonight with gifts, food, our own belongings and a few for the dog. We will be cleaning the house a bit (who doesn't like returning to a tidied home?), and then feeding and watering the kitties (they can make it four days!) I think we have all of the errands out of the way, and I am not going to get around to making that salad dressing my sister has been asking after... I did, though, send her the recipe this afternoon, so that will have to do.

I don't know about Santa, but we've definitely made our list, and I've checked it twice (or thrice...)

Happy Holidays everyone!!

20 weeks and a whole new reality

We are officially halfway through the "average" pregnancy. Of course, I realize that the avg first pregnancy goes 8 days late... Still, 20 weeks is something to celebrate! Especially now that we know we're having a little boy!!!

Despite having 10 bazillion things to accomplish before leaving to see our families on Friday afternoon, E and I spent last night talking about our little boy and shopping around for little boy clothes. I simply cannot believe the reality that has set in now that we know he's a BOY!! Buying those little outfits - I just imagined him in those little shoes and socks, sporting the sweater vest and looking astoundingly adorable in his little overalls... all this, and with 4.5 months left to go before we meet him!

I cannot fully describe the rush of emotion I had when we learned that Tot is a boy. Of course, one must wonder why one feels the way one does when one is so surprised by one's own reactions, doesn't one? I think that finding out that he's a boy brought on a new sense for me- a sense that he is a real person who will be here in just a few months... we are, after all, already halfway! He is a real person who depends on me now and will depend on us when he's here. I am going to be a mom FOR. THE. REST. OF. MY. LIFE. Of course, it is not that I didn't realize this before, but I now understand this in an entirely new way. (I'm betting that his arrival will up that realization about 400 thousand times...)

Holding those little sweaters and overalls, I could imagine our son in them. I don't know exactly what he will look like when he is born (although, by the pictures, no one can deny that he'll be darn good looking!!), but I could sense him, there, in those little clothes, looking at me, looking at us. This morning when I looked at his picture again, I fell in love with our baby - I've reached a whole new level of love for this child growing inside of me, and I didn't even realize it was possible.

A boy has finally stolen my heart.

It's a boy!!!

Yup, S and I will be having a little boy in May! We saw the little guy this morning and everything is looking good. He is about 10 oz, 9-12 inches, and his heart beats about 152 bpm! We are going back on Jan. 8th because they want a better picture of the heart when he is a bit bigger. No worries, they didn't see anything wrong just want to see a clearer picture to be sure.

Happy little boy though. Shy with his hands in front of his face most of the ultrasound. He even open and closed his mouth to say, "Hi!"

The blog poll was wrongo! The end vote was 33 girl and 22 boy.

Here are some pictures of our boy!


Profile





Proof he is a boy!





We are excited to learn more about raising our little boy. We may just turn to those of you that have already jumped into life with a little guy for some guidance!

Only 1 day left to vote!

We had a very nice weekend. E and I celebrated our Christmas because we spend the real holiday traveling quite a bit. Our holiday isn't much in the way of gifts; although, one should never underestimate the amount of thoughtfulness that can go into a few small things!!

Our Christmas weekend included going to see a movie on Saturday, which may be E's favorite Christmas present as, admittedly, I'm not usually up for sitting for 2 hours. (Although, we were not big fans of the flick.) We checked out the new theater in doing so, then ran to the grocery store to pick up some soup and salad fixin's for dinner. Our evening was perfect with Christmas music, Christmas tree, and Trivial Pursuit by the fire. On Sunday, we went to breakfast, made peppermint bark, and finished off the soup and salad leftovers. We even found time to wrap presents for our trek to MI at the end of this week. What a fantastic weekend!!

Tomorrow morning we go in for the ultrasound. If you haven't done so already, you have today left to get your vote on!

Get your vote on!

Tuesday, we get a glimpse into Tot's world again! We are more excited than we can put into words! We are also hoping to get a glimpse of whether Tot has boy bits or girly ones. We've put a poll in the side bar, and we'd love your votes! Here's a bit of info that may (or may not) be helpful in guessing:

• 160 beats/minute or above at every appointment
• extreme and all-day nausea subsided circa 15.5 weeks
• weight gain ~7 lbs so far
• food aversions: meat, lettuce
• food loves: cereal, fruit (Clementines!!)
• Ring test: circles the first time, side to side the second, side to side THEN circles the third time!!
• insem right after ovulation, we think
• Chinese chart says girl or boy depending on which one you look at!

I don't know what else you'd like to know, but we'd love to see your guesses!! We will let you know on Tuesday!!

Our blog crush is.......

Vee and jay from making cakes the hard way ! Why, because they are English? Ummm..no but that helps. It is because they are the people S and I talk about the most and that we hurt the most for when they get the BFN.

Vee and Jay’s fortitude provides us with a push forward in our own lives. They support each other and encourage each other in a way that makes that persuit for a baby always seem like the BFP is just around the corner. They allow themselves to be down, struck with fear, and outright mad about their fertility struggle. They also proceed with their life in general by opening a business, moving to a new place, and live outside of infertility.

We read their blog, their emotions, and their courage on a daily basis. We admire them. Pray for their success in life and most of all send every ounce of baby luck we have to them. They are going to be amazing moms.

Here is to our blog crush, making cakes the hard way!

19 weeks (& 1 day)

Time is moving along! I guess now that I feel good and we're out and doing things (plus it's the holiday rush season), the time can fly by. Maybe, it's just that time for the first 3 or so months went by so slowly because I felt so crappy. I don't know, but I'm lovin' it!

We are 19 weeks along today! According to the internets, our baby is now 8" long and 8 oz. Wow! Tot is growing! I can tell. My belly is now the biggest part of my body by far. Last night, E said "Wow!! You're pregnant!!" This morning, i caught myself in the mirror from the side, and I can see her sentiments!

I don't have many reasons to complain these days as my pregnancy symptoms have died down significantly. I sneeze a lot - especially in the afternoons at work. I have had some pretty bizarre dreams, but other than that and still tiring a bit easily I feel completely normal. Oh, except that the night before last, I think I felt the baby kick. It continued for a few minutes and was a bit random. I can't say for sure yet as it was a sensation I'd never before felt, but I'm hoping to feel it again soon!

Snow Day

We were both sent home this afternoon due to weather. E shoveled the driveway, we took Gladys to the park, and then we took some pictures of us in our front yard:





I am actually sitting with Gladys in our front yard. LOTS of snow!

And, because I finally got the camera out, here are a few pics of our tree and our mantle, nicely decorated for Christmas (awwww...):

Time to reconsider that stay at home mom job...

Ok, not really at this point (first of all, money aside, since we can't legally get hitched in any way, both of us need to work in order to have insurance...). However, today, we started looking into daycare. We found a place across the street from my work (and E works very close to me), that looks great and we're headed over for our first daycare tour. (This place comes highly recommended, so getting on a waiting list is the way to go.)

We can (barely) afford this place, but I started thinking about our plans to have two children, and I can't figure out how on earth we will pay for two children in daycare in a couple of years. This stuff is expensive!

I'm sure it's not as big of an issue as it feels right now; my pregnancy hormones have been doing some crazy emotional things to me lately (and to E, poor thing!!) It is actually exciting to start looking and getting a feel for what is out there, and I can certainly see why it makes financial sense to have someone stay home with the kids (not to mention emotional and bonding sense too!) Perhaps down the road it's something that would make sense for us too.

Let it Snow

E & I had a fabulous appointment last night. We met with the only m/w we hadn't yet met, and she was fantastic. I liked her within about .3 nanoseconds. It turns out that the intern has finished her rotation, so we don't have to deal with her again. In addition, MW was very open to E's lactation plan, and is going to review it, then call in her meds. Yeah!!! She had to have gotten the impression that we were very organized given that E handed over a crisp clear outlined report with supporting documentation attached. It was quite the document!

Of course, the highlight of the appointment was Tot's steady heartbeat. Up around 160! My eyes well up with happy tears every time we hear our baby!

Afterwards, we felt so relieved that we had made the right decision about where to go for our prenatal care, that we decided to celebrate by going to one of E's very favorite Italian places downtown. We devoured a pesto pizza AND a slice of key lime pie. Yumm!

Now, we just have to last 11 more days before we can see Tot again. SEE TOT again! It is too exciting to think about!

The snow keeps on coming, and that's fine with me. It's beautiful right now. It feels wintry and cozy, and we're looking forward to a weekend where we can do all kinds of holiday preparation. It snowed last night, and rumor has it that the snow will be here again tomorrow.

Let it snow!

Midwife appointment

We are planning our strategy for the MW appointment today. Hopefully it goes better than the past appointments. I have my lactation protocol all typed up and ready to give them. We have a few questions and a few comments for them regarding our future care. Most of all we are looking forward to hearing the heatbeat again!

18 weeks!

This last week has really flown by. We've been quite busy outside of work, which always makes the time pass quickly.... always good when you're counting weeks until you get to see your baby again (less than 2 to go!!).

In the last week or two I've had some notable changes. I have definitely grown again. Tot is growing, and my tummy is growing too. I'm VERY thick around the middle now, and nearly looking pregnant, rather than like I've been eating too many donuts - call me crazy, but I prefer pregnant to gluttonous.

I'm still fruit crazy, but I'm also eating more veggies. I love feeling like I eat normally again. I'm still carb-heavy compared to my pre-pregnancy food choices, but last night's dinner included not one, but TWO vegetables (zucchini and broccoli) in addition to whole wheat pasta. I also love, love, LOVE milk. I was never really a milk drinker before being pregnant, but now I have 3 - 6 servings a day... that doesn't include any yogurt or cheese, that's just milk. I don't really notice any other major cravings, although the other day I realized that in the last four months I've had four donuts, which is at least 2 more than I have in any given year.

We meet with the midwife tomorrow. Depending on how it goes, we will probably decide whether to stay with them, or to go back to our old NP's office and do a hospital birth. I'm not stressed out about it anymore; I just want to have Dr.'s appointments that aren't so annoying.

So, we've made it 18 weeks! I'm feeling good - lots of energy over all, and we are staring at the halfway mark: Christmas. Wow! I can't believe we've made it this far. How wonderfully fortunate we are!

He is here!

The greatest dad on earth is visiting us till Wednesday! What do we plan to do with him? We plan to eat, talk, eat, drink a little wine, and laugh! We love having him visit. He is laid back, fun, and one of our favorite people!

Here he is with one of his best friends, my niece Maureen!



In other news, we took G to a local non-profit that helps adopt out cats to have her picture taken with Santa! It was the group's big fundraiser and S's boss volunteers for the group so it all made sense. G was terrified. She is a bit of a chicken about a few things but when a scary, hairy, man in a red suit approached you fast and in a hovering manner, who wouldn't be scared. I know this is a group of cat lovers but for goodness sake, if you are having dogs come in...learn how to approach them. Well, to get the picture taken I had to be in it. Look at her face, she thinks this man is about to kill us!



Happy Holidays from G!