Thursday, July 10, 2008

Slipping Away

This is a hard week for me. I go back to work on Monday, and a week following is A's surgery. My tears are flowing... I don't want to go back to work and leave my baby. I don't. want. to. go. I'm starting to concoct all kinds of alternatives - none of which could happen by Monday - so that I don't have to leave him. Throw in the looming surgery in a week and a half and you have a bonified basket case over here.

The time is slipping by. So much change is afoot that all I want to do is curl up in my bedroom with my little boy and hold onto him.

17 comments:

vee said...

r Dr to sign you off sick? Leaving your baby when he's got to have surgery - all you've been through - you've got to be stressed to the max.

vee said...

Hmm - don't know where the first part of that went, but it was suitably sympathetic. Not surprised you just want to stay with your boy and not go back. Awful.

Alissa said...

Oh sara, I'm so sorry. Can you get time off with the family leave act at least until after he's recovered from his surgery?

keri said...

I don't blame you a single bit. I bet if you keep thinking, a solution will arise.
Big hug to you!

Ali said...

Oh I am so sorry. I can imagine how hard this must be, I would want to curl up with my baby too.

Poltzie said...

I'm sorry Sara!

twomomsarebetterthanone said...

i am so so so sorry. i remember how hard it was for me leading up to my return date. i was a mess, and you have so much more going on too.

Dee said...

Leaving them is SO HARD! Add the looming surgery on top of it and I think you'd almost crumble. It will get better with time, I promise. BUT it's STILL hard at times. Good luck to you and BIG HUGS! Please keep us posted on his surgery.

MaMaMia said...

I feel for you. It definitely sucks to have to take your young young baby to childcare--add in the stress of the upcoming surgery and any of us would be a ball of emotions. . .
hugs and prayers. . .

tbean said...

I can't imagine how awful and full of dread returning to work must feel. Big hugs to you.

For me, the anticipation is always the worst part. The dread. Once I get there, it's usually not as bad as I feared.

I hope you are able to have lots of work flexibility during A's surgery week.

kwillmetta said...

Since I know the inside skinny that your employer IS giving you time off for the surgery, maybe this suggestion will help the oveall returning to work funk...

Look at the week between maternity leave ending and the surgery as not really returning to work, but a catch-up week. When I was off work for 6 weeks for medical leave the first week back was totally enveloped in getting caught up on emails, in box, and outstanding correspondance. I gave myself permission to not JUMP to every demand that came my way and got a hand on the whole kabodle first.

I know none of this changes the fact that you want to be home with your baby, but a plan of action always makes things easier, right?

ajs4ever said...

I soooo understand how you are feeling! Braden starts daycare the last week in July and I am starting to fall apart! I just want to hold him and love him and keep him all to myself! I know it is good for him, but it is so hard on me!

E, M, and the Little Man said...

The thought of returning to work had me all emotional too. I'm so sorry.

Mimi said...

why can't we all be rich???? been there done that and it sucks..it just makes you enjoy the time you do have with your family even more...hugs and kisses to you

Jude said...

Hi Sara, lurker Jude here sending you love and hoping against hope for a wonderful and surprising relief in all this, and plenty of moments to treasure.

Elizabeth said...

Transitions are hard, and I can't imagine what this one feels like. Hugs.

docgrumbles said...

Sending many hugs...