Sunday, July 20, 2008

Marching toward the Light

We are home from the wedding. We arrived circa 8pm last night - a bit haggard, but doing alright. A was a trooper the entire time, and so was E. It was a huge wedding, and it required a lot of people working really hard at the very end. Someday I'll post about the photographer debacle, but mostly things went off without a hitch: certainly, everything had a happy ending.

On the way home yesterday, a sense of what was coming hit really hard. The wedding had been quite the distraction, which was probably a good thing. It was something that we had to get through before we check in to the hospital, before A's big day tomorrow. I'm kind of glad that the wedding was this weekend rather than last, so that we didn't have as much time to sit and stew over what is coming.

Today is hard already, and it's just beginning. We are going to church and then to brunch. After that, we have to pack him up and head on in. Surgery is tomorrow morning. I feel the minutes ticking by, and I'm scared to death. I'm scared about how I'll feel seeing him, and I'm a little scared too about things that can go wrong. I don't want to have to spend time at the hospital. I don't want to be separated from my baby by tubes and wires. I don't want a tube down his throat/in his mouth/in his nose. I don't want him to have to be poked. He can't understand what's happening, and I can't explain it to him: that things will be better when this is all over.

I'm trying to see the other side, the light at the end of tunnel, so to speak. We will keep this blog as updated as possible, of course. Ugh, let this be over soon.

14 comments:

Rachel said...

Thinking of both of you and A. this morning as you prepare to bring him to the hospital.

I know it really is small comfort, but I was a sick child and have no memory at all of being in the hospital as an infant or as a toddler and even up to age 5 or 6. I do definitely remember a few favorite doctors and the dolls my mother gave me as bribes for having my blood drawn, but that's about all.

Lizzie said...

Holding you three in the light. Lots of love.

bleu said...

Sending so much love. I would explain it all anyways, I do believe some of it gets in, some explaining will be understood by him.

Bliss had to have dental surgeries very early. He has had 4. He has had to be put out for 3, the first he was so young they didn't. I wish they had. Anyhow the one thing I would hold onto was he had been through those meds before and did well so that fear could ease up. Does that make any sense? A did really well with his previous surgery.

Anyhow I am sending lots of ;ove and light.

jay said...

Thinking of you all. Big hugs xx

tbean said...

Stay strong--thinking of you. You will get through this. xoxo

Alissa said...

I'll be praying for your beautiful, little family during this hard time!

*G* said...

We'll be thinking lots of positive thoughts for you three these next several days and hoping for a speedy return back home!

possiblemaybe said...

Sending much light & love your way;
I can only imagine just how difficult & scary this must be. xoxo.

Carey said...

Good luck with the surgery... we'll be thinking about you all.

vee said...

You three will be in my thoughts until you're all safely home. xxx

owlie said...

thinking of you all. what bleu said, explain it anyway.

sending love and luck.

Heather said...

We're thinking of you girls & A! I'm sure that he'll do great! I'm hoping for a speedy recovery for little A

Susanica said...

I can't imagine what it must be like to head into surgery with your son like you have to now. I hope and pray that all goes perfectly. Babies are so much better than we older folks are at healing. Sending lots of love and positive energy. -Monica (and family)

Blue Pearl said...

Thinking of you.