Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Excitement and dread...

This troupe is off on a new adventure tomorrow. We will be heading the MI again for S’s baby sister’s wedding. This time we are taking the ferry from Milwaukee to Muskegon. It’ll be A’s first boat ride. We will have a busy few days of it; rehearsal, hair appointment, pictures, wedding, reception, gift openings and back on the ferry before you know it.

We come back on Saturday late in the evening. We will spend that evening getting ourselves ready to check into the hospital on Sunday. A has to be there for a day to clean out his intestines in preparation for surgery. The actual surgery is on Monday morning, we are not sure what time. They say it will take up to 3 hours. Following that we are looking at about 5-7 days in the hospital to be sure everything is working correctly.

I have to say, I am full of a strange feeling of excitement and dread. As I think back to his first surgery I was in such a daze that it was all happening I felt out of control. This time I definitely feel like the lead up time has allowed me to analyze and evaluate my feelings toward the surgery. So the clarity lends itself to a different mindset, however that is not the only factor. This time I actually know the kid. I mean, at two days old you are still getting over the shock of having a baby and what is expected of you. We didn’t know the little things like, he loves to have his hands close to his face for comfort. Now I know how to make him smile and laugh, when he is hungry, when he is tired, how to burp him, and much much more. I think this is what terrifies me the most, seeing him post surgery in a sedated state with a breathing tube and knowing he isn’t getting what he needs or wants. It turns my stomach.

On the other hand, I’m excited. This is the end of the ostomy bag. This is the end of fights with the medical suppliers about how many tubes of paste we can get at once. This is the end of A’s illness and the beginning of him having an opportunity to grow without (after a while) a million doctor appointments. It is the beginning of the end for special formula (hopefully) and the beginning of full breastfeeding for S. Now we will not be saying things like, “well, he has to wear a button onsie or his bag will show”. It is the start to so much. I just pray it all goes as planned.

19 comments:

Rachel said...

I am wowed by how calm you sound about the surgery. I'm so glad that the extra time to prepare will make this a different experience for all of you. Have a fabulous time at the wedding this weekend, and best wishes for Monday morning.

bleu said...

ave a great Ferry ride and wedding weekend!!

I am so impressed at your clarity and so excited too for the surgery but yes I imagine it is so scary too. sending a whole lot of love.

*G* said...

Thinking lots of positive thoughts for a great trip to MI, a fast and easy recovery after surgery and a good riddance to all the hassles you won't have to deal with anymore after A's recovery!

Poltzie said...

Good luck to the three of you! You are both such strong people and wonderful parents that I know you will make it through this wonderfully. I will be thinking about you of Monday.

kyky7079 said...

I am already saying a prayer for his surgery and I'll keep praying until he is home safely. Have a great weekend at the wedding!

Merr said...

We will be praying too!!

La said...

Blessings and prayers for A and his mommies.

tbean said...

I'll be thinking of you three--I am excited too for you to get to the next phase of healing for A. but I'm sure next week will be long and hard on everyone. I pray for the best possible outcomes and a speedy recovery.

Blue Pearl said...

Wow, great attitude. Thinking of you!

NotesFrom2Moms said...

i'll be thinking of you guys as you embark on this crazy travel and surgery schedule.

jay said...

thinking of you all here too. blimey, you are a tough lot! big love xx

docgrumbles said...

Best of luck with the trip and the surgery!

j.k-c. said...

Thinking of you!

E, M, and the Little Man said...

Hope everything goes well with the surgery and hope A feels much better from then on.

Lizzie said...

I'm so proud of/impressed with you guys. You've been handling so much with so much grace. Holding all three of you in the light, thinking of Sunday and Monday, waiting for updates.

sandra said...

I think you guys are owed a big shot of 'things going perfectly'. So the surgery? Will go perfectly.

CD and SP said...

just so you know we're thinking of you.

ajs4ever said...

You and A are in my thoughts and prayers!!

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