Thursday, July 26, 2007


Thanks Holly for tagging us. I think this will be a fantastic distraction!
Here are the rules: Let others know who tagged you.Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag 8 other people and tell them they’ve been tagged.

1. When we first met, I chased E relentlessly. Oh, except that I kept telling her I was straight. For some reason, she was a bit confused by the messages she was receiving - I kept telling our mutual friends I was interested, and I kept telling her I was straight. Obviously, truth won out and here we are, over 6 years later!

2. E and I first exchanged "I love you" strangely and over the course of several weeks. I first said it to her after 2 months of dating. We, of course, had been drinking. We were walking in the woods with some friends (at Michigan Womyn's Festival!) and I said, "don't say anything, but I love you!!" I didn't want her to say it b/c I had, or stumble and hurt my feelings. So, a few weeks later, Erin cooked me vegetarian lasagna at my apartment. While we were out for a cigarette (we're ex-smokers now), she said "I'm 99.9% sure I love you too."

3. Erin knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me in 2003. We'd been living together for 6-ish months and took a huge trip to CA. We were in the rental car in the Sequoia National Forest, just having completed a hike through a cave. We had lots yet to see, so I was making peanut butter & jelly on my lap in the front seat as we drove away. Erin says she knew I was the one b/c she could imagine our kids in the backseat waiting for their pb&j's.

3.b. I fall in love with Erin again every time I think of that story.

4. Erin and I had a 2-year discussion about how to have children. To this day, I feel so very selfish, but she has forgiven me over and over again as I am unable to change my heart. She is an amazingly generous woman, especially when it comes to me - and everyone else around her. Erin wanted to carry a child, and so did I. Many women figure this out by agreeing to both carry. I, however, am so afraid of not bonding with both children equally, that I was/am unable to agree to that. I had a lot of trouble admitting it as I knew it was selfish, but I felt that I couldn't knowingly bring children into this world if I might not love them equally. We had many painful conversations in which we came to the understanding that I would carry both of the children we plan on having.

4.b. We've been trying for over 2 years, and the feelings I mention above are still true. I still wince every time I talk about how I feel, and I wish I could change it.

4.c. I've never met anyone else who feels this way.

5. We are 100% believers in 5 year plans. Ours helped us stay on track to do accomplish many things over the last few years:

  • We quit smoking
  • I finished my undergrad degree - it's true, I couldn't get my sh*t together enough to finish the piddly few credits I had remaining until I was with E!
  • E started and finished her MSW
  • We moved out of Michigan
  • We bought our first car together
  • We bought our first house
  • We got a dog
  • I started and finished my MBA

6. Our current 5-year plan is expired and we are stuck on the last thing we wanted to have by now: our first child. We talked just the other day about a 2-year plan, so that's something.

7. We are (usually) planning to move back to Michigan after we have kids. E and I are both very close to our families. We count ourselves extremely fortunate- though neither family is perfect, they all love us (both of us) VERY much. We love them too, and often long to be closer to them. Being so far away is often very painful, particularly for me. We need to stay here where the law/judges are more likely to allow us both to be legal parents. Once we've gone through the legal stuff, we want to go home (even though we LOVE it here too!)

8. Every year that goes by, I am more and more in love with this wonderful woman. She has helped me be the best me I can be. She loves me unconditionally while also holding me accountable. No one in this world has ever, or will ever, love me more than she. No one could ever love her more than I do. I look forward to our future with her - we have so much to look forward to.

Ok, I'm tagging eek & SW, Vee & Jay, e., mammamia, Maebe & True, cd & sp, g & j, and E & M.


vee said...

Oh I so love these memes (well, most of them - this is a goodie!) It's really great to learn more about you, so thank you for sharing.

Number 4 - wow, that's a biggie. I'm really impressed that you both worked your way through this (and it must have been hard on both of you). Says a lot about how strong your relationship must be. I'm sure you'll both be fantastic mums and love your children madly.

CD & SP said...

we are so bad--this is the 2nd time we've been tagged and we haven't done it. okay, we promise--next time!!! =)

Anonymous said...

You blew me away with your blog today. Love both of you. Dad

Alissa said...

Such a beautiful post! I love how much you two love each other.

Erin said...

I love you baby. You never have to reconsider the baby decision. It is a done deal and I value your ability to be so honest about such a difficult/unpopular perspective. It is one of the many things that make me love you more and more. Your foresight in this situation is one that will strengthen our family and it will never hurt us because of your honesty.

Erin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bleu said...

I just wanted to say that after you have your first child all of your beliefs and feelings about #4 may completely change. They may not, but be open to the fact that they may. So many of my strongest beliefs totally changed after having Bliss. It will be neat to see your journey after you have your first and a year later and two years later and so on.