Paving the way

Sometimes it really strikes me that this world has so much more to learn about, especially when it comes to what it defines as “alternative lifestyles and families”. Sure the term alternative bugs me. Sure I am irritated that I have to educate so many people about how my family is normal. I said a few posts ago that my approach is to inform people about something (i.e. lesbians having babies) and then give them the space to let it sink in, talk to others, and come to a conclusion about how they feel about it. I (as all same-sex couples do) field some of the strangest questions in the spirit of helping this defunked world overcome their personal and societal hurdles. But, if the mission is to breakdown barriers, I have to be ok with answering those questions and giving that space.

As I embark on the lactation induction experiment it is becoming more and more clear to me that I will have to work to pave the way again. As worldly and knowledgeable as the MBC and our MWs are, they seem to be stumped by the protocol for inducing lactation in a non-bio mom of two mom family. The MW that initially asked me if I was going to b/f (breastfeed) seemed to have a decent grasp on what that would entail. However, at our appointment a week ago a different MW and the Lactation Expert (LE) were timid, nervous, and very unsure about what and how this would all actualize. GEEEEZ! You guys are the ones that are supposed to know. They gave me a freaking website to visit…..thanks but I’ve already been there!

Well, now I know. I have been to the website, read everything, been to other websites, and am building my own protocol. I will be the first non-bio mom of a two mom family to attempt this in the care of the MBC and so I will therefore be the one to determine the what, where, how, and why. I will educate them on what to do with two moms breastfeeding. I am not under the impression that my protocol will not need to be altered or refined throughout the process and I also understand that it may not work at all. I just need someone to be confident in the attempt (besides you S, you are awesome and it is because of you we can give it a good go) and so that person will be me.

Watch out MW and LE, you just unleashed a determined, self-reliant, knowledgeable, resourceful, non-bio mom looking to breastfeed. Prepare to learn!

Where did it all go?

So our morning started out with a little bit of a scare. S has had a few pretty good days as far as symptoms go. Yesterday, we passed the 8-week mark. Today starts week 9 (don't quote me on this because I can't seem to wrap my head around what week we are in or what week we are).

S woke up this morning realizing that for the first time in a week she hasn't had to get up in the middle of the night to eat to keep nausea at bay. Alarmed by the sudden decrease in symptoms she started to analyze all remaining and previous symptoms. Here is the low-down:

Breasts:
Then - Painfully sensitive
Now - Slightly tender

Nausea:
Then - Constant
Now - Only every 60-90 min with dramatic decrease in intensity>

Fatigue:
Then - Like hitting a brick wall
Now - A little tired

Appetite:
Then - Nothing sounds good
Now - Can stomach just about everything (aside from what I am eating)

This sent S into a bit of a panic (especially after Dr. Google said a decrease in morning symptoms could be a sign of miscarriage), which in turn sent me into a little tizzy. I called the NPs office, as we don't really have an OB or Midwife (the MBC is closed till 1 pm on Thursdays). The triage nurse's response to me giving the list of changes was priceless.

Nurse: "That is great!”
Me: "Um, I said she HAD morning sickness and symptoms and now they are disappearing."
Nurse: "Yeah, that is good. Her body is getting used to being pregnant."
Me: " but we are only 8 weeks."
Nurse: "Yeah, some people see improvement during weeks 8 and 10. She will have some more bad days though."
Me: "So we should stop freaking out?"
Nurse: "Yes, we only worry if she has cramping and/or bleeding."
Me: "Phew, I'll call her now and tell her."

I call S and tell her the above story. She cries out of relief.

So there you have it, our first major panic about the pregnancy.

What this has done though is convince us to keep our original appointment with the OB for Oct. 5. Since the MBC seems to be closed and/or not able to make our first appointment we would like to see our other option. Not that this means we will not stay with the MBC (we assume they become more accessible after the first appointment considering they will likely give us a contact number for after hour concerns). So there you have it, we may go back to medical. The good thing is we may be able to see the NP and office staff while we are at the OB's office (same office really). We haven't seen them since we got pregnant. We may even be able to see the tot on Oct. 5 (see we aren't anti-ultrasound).

First appointment

Today is our first appointment with the Midwife. Now, most of you get an ultrasound during this appointment but not us. The MBC where we are (fingers crossed that there is no need to go medical) giving birth provides all of our pre-natal check ups as well. They do not do ultrasounds. They can order them though so we plan to ask for one around 20 weeks to see what we are having. Otherwise, blood work and "touchy feely" medical input for us only.

Why, go so non-medical? Well, since we had to be so medical for the last 2 years we are looking forward to fewer invasive procedures. This all considering everything is looking "normal" and proceeding, as it "should". We are not against the other forms of giving birth, pre-natal care, or whatever steps others need to take to ensure their pursuit to the same final goal as ours ends with a healthy baby (or two for some of you)!

So, here we go to our first appointment tonight. What happens at this appointment? I don't have a clue, probably many many many questions and "get to know ya" conversations. I am not even sure they will do any blood work. The first appointment is supposed to be 2 hours but we had to split it into two days because we needed an after 5 pm appointment.

Here we go, well at 6 pm!