12dpo: hope...what hope?

Well the BBT dropped a bit today. Not enough to show that AF was coming but definitely enough to mar the hopes. We didn't even POAS today.

AF just get here so we can put ourselves through this again.

On a more positive note, we feel like the injectables really did work. We are pretty confident at this point that this month was our best look at getting pregnant. That means 3-6 months we should be there! See I have some hope left!

Oh, and thank you all for your supportive comments. We know it may be early yet but the signs just don't look all that good. We are so grateful to all those that read us and send comments of support. Ya'll rock!

AF around the corner!

Looks like we are still on track for the next cycle so far. I hate to jinx it but S's BBT dropped today. We expect AF to show up any minute. This will be a no Clomid, no progesterone, no try cycle that looks good on paper! WOW, what a change from a year ago!

We will be arranging for a few tests in the coming week. One to see if S's fallopian tubes are clear and the other to check for polyps in her uterus (just to make sure they haven't come back). Let's hope the good news keeps rollin' in!

Fingers crossed for AF to come today. I have to go to Chicago in two weeks for my strategic planning with my board and we don't want insemination day to land on a day I am gone.....

Heading in the right direction!

We didn't write about it before but it looks like S ovulated this month without CLOMID!!!! We were taking a break this month based on our trip to Boston timing, doctor appointments, and the need for mental clarity. We did keep track of the BBT and sure enough on the 19th day S's temp dipped. Then on the 20th day it spiked and has remained high since!!!! Come on Feb....be the lucky one! Fingers crossed!

Stinko

S is leaving tomorrow morning and I start working! We had a good time over the last few days. Visited our family friend, a friend and her baby from B-school, and now back in Boston. Not looking forward to standing for 8 hours on concrete or being without S for a few days but it is how we get these trips!

S's BBT doesn't seem to be cooporatinging perfectly yet this month but we are being patient. No money riding on this one!

Later!

No go

AF is coming, the BBT dropped, we are disappointed. Time to gear up for the next round.

Dreaming

So last night I slept like a rock. S and I just vegged out in bed watching t.v. and getting the plans together for our upcoming trip to the Boston area. I fell asleep around 11 (early for me) and didn't wake until the 6 am BBT check alarm went off. It was great! Not only was the sleeping great but the dreaming was awesome!

I dreamt that we were not only pregnant but it was about 9 months from now and our TWINS were being born. The labor wasn't too bad for S. The only issue was the boy (yes we had a boy and a girl) was slightly underweight and smaller. Everyone was healthy though. The feeling I had was so real I can't imagine I could be any prouder than I was in my dream on the real day our child arrives. Come on babies get here!

Synchroneity

Main Entry: syn·chro·ne·ity
Definition: the state of being synchronous

Main Entry: syn·chro·nous
Definition: happening, existing, or arising at precisely the same time

This is exactly what is happening for us! Yesterday S's BBT dropped to 97.05. Everywhere we have been reading shows that it is common for BBT to drop just prior to ovulation and to rise just after ovulation. Well today's BBT was 98.03. Unbelievable. The cosmos have collided! We did our second insemination yesterday and have now begun our waiting game. Looks like we have all the parts in the right places at the right time! Now all we need is for the sperm and egg to collide like the cosmos and then implant. Only 13 more days till we know.

I can't believe how well this is all going. We are trying to keep our emotions in check but this is the best chance we have ever had! Come on babies!!!!

The meeting

We got back from Michigan yesterday just after noon. We ended up going in to get S's blood drawn early for her Estradiol and come back at 3 for the ultrasound. While S was having her blood drawn they said they could do the ultrasound early if we wanted. We decided to go with it as we woke up at 6 am to drive the 5.5 hours back to Madison. Gladys (our dog) was in the car but we figured better to get it all done now and spend more time with her back at home.

Well, the ultrashound, blood work, and day went wonderful! We for the first time ever have all the ducks falling into a row. Granted we aren't getting too excited but things are looking good. Our NP consulted the triage nurse from home and told her to go ahead with the HCG shot. S had 2 (19x24 and 18x20) great follicles and one other that might be ready. Her Estradiol was up to 385!

We walked over to the pharmacy, got the hCG, had it injected and went home. I spent the evening talking to the little ladies and asking them to release soon. We scheduled inseminations with a different NP in our NP's office (ours is out for vacation)for Wed. and Thurs!

This morning S's BBT was up a little and we are hoping it will spike tomorrow morning. We went to the appointment and I had the pleasure of pushing the plunger of the syringe in. While doing so our luck seemed to have run out. the catheter end of the syringe can disconnected front the syringe and Bernard got loose!!!! We did get most of it in but some of the escaped. We'll surely get'em all in there tomorrow! Fingers crossed....for the little ones to meet up.

Let if flow, Let flow, Let it flow

Nothing like the beginning of a period to get your in the holiday spirit! AF came last night setting us off on a joyous evening of laughter, smiles, and cheer not to mention hope. Like with every new year every period during a bout with infertility brings hope and disappointment. This time around we are filled with hope as we already knew we were not pregnant but were stuck as we couldn't move forward with out AF. She is here and let the next try begin!

I got out my trusty journal and counted backwards. Yup exactly 14 days ago S said she was sure that she ovulated. This was day 31 and we inseminated on the believed ovulation day which was day 9! Yup, looks like was used $800 worth of good sperm 22 days late! Shit. Anywho, we also realized that it seems like all of S's long cycles (this one 43 days) are when the left ovary is the one producing follicles. What does this mean....I'm sure we will not get a definite answer unless they give S an autopsy. So, we will just stick it in our journal and hold that knowledge closely with all the other conflict bits.

I may sound jaded but I'm actually excited. It looks like her BBT was consistent (even though she was sick with a fever during the cycle) with ovulation 14 days ago. This makes me see that if we keep tracking the BBT, doing the blood tests with the NP, and ultrasounds we may just get it right after all. I think the next step is to make an appointment with the NP to tell her about our new findings and develop a plan for the coming days.

Unfortunately it looks like if Clomid works right, and it is the right ovary we will be looking at an insemination date of 12/24/06 or 12/25/06. Even if we weren't going to be 380 miles away from the NP....do you think they charge more for IUI insemination on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? I'm glad God is being picky about finding the perfect baby for us but come on....give us one break!!!!!!

Where is the clock's pendulum?

It seems to me that we are always searching for the clock's pendulum. Not becuase there is one but because everyone seems to have a different idea as to where to look or how to look. The other day I was trying to read up a bit more on the whole basal body temp (BBT) stuff and found a suggestion to take the temperature vaginally. I have also always read that the person is not to move at all for fear of raising the temp even slightly. Answer me this...how would I ever get S to lay still at 6 am while trying to take her BBT vaginally? This is absurd. Needless to say we continue to take it every morning at 6am orally!

Still there seems to be no consistancy in how we can actually tell if she is ovulating. We had three months (Aug., Sept., and Oct.) that her cycle was 28 days exactly with a good estrodial reading and an ultrasound showeing follicles that were "almost" the right size. Our Clear Blue Easy Monitor never peaked but then we were told that she definately ovulated. This month we are on day 43 with no period, negative preg tests, and statements such as "you may not ever get a peak on the monitor due to the PCOS". That all coming after always being told to use the montior!!!! GRRRRR......

This was our first IUI after 8 ICI trys. S has been on Clomid since June 2006 with no absolute positive no nonsense ovulation. We thought we had that but now we aren't sure. Our NP is now suggesting IVF. We have our expenseive consultation in Jan. to hear our options! Yeah us.

Let's just pray for Aunt Flow to show and get the next try going!