I feel like my posts are so uninspired lately. We never have any news to report, and when we were TTCing, everything was news... BFN's were news, symptoms were news, nothingness was also news. News just doesn't come so easily anymore. I can't blog about each and every little kick because that's boring! ...but, as it turns out, so is everything else. The baby is fine, everything is normal; we are happy; we are going about our life and doing a little nesting here and there... it's just not news.
Are you all still going to be friends with us now that we're just so dull? Now that the rollercoaster was packed up and shipped out?
The thing is that I feel like we need you all more than ever. Sure, life is kind of rosy over here at the Village, but our life - although plodding along at a reasonable pace- is getting turned upside down.. slowly on a day to day basis, but my GAWD is life different than it was 6 months ago, and I can barely imagine what life will be like 6 months from now! And, the truth is, that even though we are happy and healthy overall, I have really shitty days and things seem big and overwhelming sometimes. I have never questioned our decision to have a baby, nor our route to achieving said family status, but I am still shocked at times at how I feel. When I'm sitting quietly and I realize that I'm scared, overwhelmed, or just plain uncomfortable... I'm ultimately confused. Didn't I choose this? didn't we come here willingly, together, and lovingly? It's also true that E and I have a rock solid relationship where we love eachother above all else... but I had no idea she could drive me so crazy! Were we both insane to think we were ready for this?
Of course I know the answers to these questions, but being able to rely on you means more to me than I can put into words. Just knowing that you're out there and ready if necessary, helps me to remember that I'm not quite so alone, which I've felt quite a bit now that we're expecting yet we are hundreds upon hundreds of miles away from the people that really love us IRL.
So, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm sorry we're so dull over here, but thank you for being there for us because we love you. We love having you, and I'm so grateful you have clicked into our life.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Photo Friday: My favorite treat
I have lots of favorite treats... butter pecan ice cream, cheesecake, my mom's fudge, chocolate chip cookies... this past birthday, though, my favorite gal made the most delicious carrot cake EVER. She is now relegated to repeating her success every year for many years to come.
All hail E's delicious carrot cake!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Made my day!
Congrats to our friends J and T! This little guy is so lucky to have your two as doting dads! My heart is leaping for all three of you!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
25 weeks
I'm having one of those days where I have 1400 emotions at once. I've started to write this post 6 times in the last 3 minutes, each one in an entirely different mood.
Anxiety: Work is not going well, and it's not getting better yet. I'm waking up in the middle of the night over it, brimming with tears at a moment's notice while sitting quietly in yoga class etc... There is a lot of change, a lack of direction... but most of all, I'm not feeling like I'm in control of my own destiny. Anyone who knows me IRL knows that I must, above all, feel like I'm in the driver's seat (even if it is a farce.) I'm wrangling with how to feel like I'm master of my own universe again, and so far I've had no luck due to continuing and new events cropping up and pulling the rug out from under me. My newest tactic will have to be figuring out how to let go - as if I've EVER been able to do that before in my life. (Control-freak much?)
Productive Contentment: Contrary to my feelings above, I actually have felt quite productive in the last two days. E and I (finally) re-joined the YMCA and went swimming on Monday night - water aerobics, actually. It was fantastic! No danger of falling on ice or having G pull me down in her excitement to get to the park and play Frisbee. Nope, just lots of buoyancy so that I could get my heart rate up and feel really good after an hour. I also went to yoga last night. I'm a slightly bigger fan of swimming, but yoga-take-2 was much better than my first attempt. I only had a bit of reflux and my cold has waned so I could breathe. I feel like I can get quite a bit out of that class, and that feels good. Two nights in a row of something like getting back into shape... or is it getting in shape for labor and delivery... or perhaps it's just something to take the edge off of aforementioned anxiety.
Tired of hearing myself complain: See above.
Enjoying the changes over this last week: Tot is still kicking mightily. Now, he's kicking hard enough that I was able to actually see a kick! He has also taken to doing some major cartwheels in there. I think we may have a future gymnast on our hands! I am having some minor back pain now, and my headaches are quite constant (could be due to various factors, so I shouldn't blame it on him!) Luckily, E is the best; she is happy to rub my temples or my back/neck etc... and help ease the ache until the Ty.lenol kicks in. E and I have discovered that I no longer have an aversion to spinach, so we had a touch of summer last night w/ a delicious spinach salad (spinach, blue cheese, walnuts, strawberries and homemade lemon-thyme dressing.) Delicious!
So, that's just a sampling of how I'm doing in any one moment. Give props to my E, who swears she's not even sick of me yet. She's a rock star, and then some.
Anxiety: Work is not going well, and it's not getting better yet. I'm waking up in the middle of the night over it, brimming with tears at a moment's notice while sitting quietly in yoga class etc... There is a lot of change, a lack of direction... but most of all, I'm not feeling like I'm in control of my own destiny. Anyone who knows me IRL knows that I must, above all, feel like I'm in the driver's seat (even if it is a farce.) I'm wrangling with how to feel like I'm master of my own universe again, and so far I've had no luck due to continuing and new events cropping up and pulling the rug out from under me. My newest tactic will have to be figuring out how to let go - as if I've EVER been able to do that before in my life. (Control-freak much?)
Productive Contentment: Contrary to my feelings above, I actually have felt quite productive in the last two days. E and I (finally) re-joined the YMCA and went swimming on Monday night - water aerobics, actually. It was fantastic! No danger of falling on ice or having G pull me down in her excitement to get to the park and play Frisbee. Nope, just lots of buoyancy so that I could get my heart rate up and feel really good after an hour. I also went to yoga last night. I'm a slightly bigger fan of swimming, but yoga-take-2 was much better than my first attempt. I only had a bit of reflux and my cold has waned so I could breathe. I feel like I can get quite a bit out of that class, and that feels good. Two nights in a row of something like getting back into shape... or is it getting in shape for labor and delivery... or perhaps it's just something to take the edge off of aforementioned anxiety.
Tired of hearing myself complain: See above.
Enjoying the changes over this last week: Tot is still kicking mightily. Now, he's kicking hard enough that I was able to actually see a kick! He has also taken to doing some major cartwheels in there. I think we may have a future gymnast on our hands! I am having some minor back pain now, and my headaches are quite constant (could be due to various factors, so I shouldn't blame it on him!) Luckily, E is the best; she is happy to rub my temples or my back/neck etc... and help ease the ache until the Ty.lenol kicks in. E and I have discovered that I no longer have an aversion to spinach, so we had a touch of summer last night w/ a delicious spinach salad (spinach, blue cheese, walnuts, strawberries and homemade lemon-thyme dressing.) Delicious!
So, that's just a sampling of how I'm doing in any one moment. Give props to my E, who swears she's not even sick of me yet. She's a rock star, and then some.
Monday, January 21, 2008
The weekend update
E and I had a very nice weekend. Last week, we decided that we had been shut ins long enough! So, Saturday we braved the frigid temperatures (-26 with windchill one morning!!,) and we attended a fundraising brunch, met the cutest smoosh-face of a baby that our friends are adopting, and THEN - yes three outings in ONE day!- then we visited with some other friends who are preggo too. This worked out especially well: we brought our dog so that she could play with their dog. Our friend S is also preggo, so she and I munched on cookies and fruit while our friend M and E drank beers. All of this over good conversation and some Trivial Pursuit. A perfect Saturday night if you ask me.
Sunday, we spent the afternoon at Bord.ers and perused the baby-reading section. We purchased one book with a gift certificate and vowed to use up the rest of the certificate after we have our shower and want to add additional kids' books to our library. Of course, we used the evening to eat pizza and ice cream - well, OK that's what I did. E watched the Pa.cker game. Personally, I am relieved they lost. No more football (on the news, in the paper, in the hallways at work) until next season. Phew!
Today we may be in the midst of another snow storm. Luckily, the high today is above zero. Sure, it "feels like 0" according to the weather site, but there are no "-" signs in front of the numbers, so we have slight improvement.
The extra bonus for today: G went to doggie daycare this morning. G's daycare had been closed for roof repair the last two weeks. With the ludicrously cold weather and the naturally delicate condition of our human skin she was terribly short on an energy outlet. (She couldn't care less about delicate human skin. She has two coats of fur and an amazingly exuberant love for snow and cold.) We managed to sneak her onto today's docket for doggie daycare, so she will be a giant tired lump tonight. Yahoo!! She will still go on her regularly scheduled day, which means two days of lumpy G this week! That's definitely the best part of my Monday.
Sunday, we spent the afternoon at Bord.ers and perused the baby-reading section. We purchased one book with a gift certificate and vowed to use up the rest of the certificate after we have our shower and want to add additional kids' books to our library. Of course, we used the evening to eat pizza and ice cream - well, OK that's what I did. E watched the Pa.cker game. Personally, I am relieved they lost. No more football (on the news, in the paper, in the hallways at work) until next season. Phew!
Today we may be in the midst of another snow storm. Luckily, the high today is above zero. Sure, it "feels like 0" according to the weather site, but there are no "-" signs in front of the numbers, so we have slight improvement.
The extra bonus for today: G went to doggie daycare this morning. G's daycare had been closed for roof repair the last two weeks. With the ludicrously cold weather and the naturally delicate condition of our human skin she was terribly short on an energy outlet. (She couldn't care less about delicate human skin. She has two coats of fur and an amazingly exuberant love for snow and cold.) We managed to sneak her onto today's docket for doggie daycare, so she will be a giant tired lump tonight. Yahoo!! She will still go on her regularly scheduled day, which means two days of lumpy G this week! That's definitely the best part of my Monday.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Life.........
How is one supposed to live in -20 degree weather? The dog and I had icicles on our eyelids last night at the end of our walk. I spent half of the time she was chasing the Frisbee hiding behind a tree to block the wind. I'm certainly not sending my pregnant wife out in that. She definitely needs to be soaking in a warm tub soothing her aching back. Life is so fair...........
On another note we have been so busy this week. Last week we were grumbling about not having anything to do (besides housework and projects) that we moped around all weekend feeling sorry for ourselves. By Monday we had plans nearly every night and felt like we couldn't get a minute to catch our breath. Life is so interesting........
Furthermore, I am amazed at the physical changes (and no I don't have any belly shots to share of her) that S has gone through in the last 4 weeks. At Christmas time I was thinking she was looking pregnant now there is no denying it. I feel Tot kick just about once a day and S is now waking up due to a good ole one two from our tough little son! Life is so amazing............
Finally, S is truly a rockstar. Not just due to creating a life within her body but for her resilience. She hasn't really had the best week at work but also sees that is isn't the worst. On Tuesday the work felt crushing to her, on Wednesday she was talking about the positives regarding the situation, and now she is charging away to be the best at what she is doing. It really doesn't surprise me one bit that she is determined to make the best of it and come out on top. She is definitely driven and when it comes to work, if she is the best she doesn't feel like she is giving enough. This isn't to say that she works 80 hours a week, that is not S. She works more than required but makes family a priority. The things she does though that most of us struggle to figure out how to do, is to work hard, fast, and with accuracy saving herself loads of time! Just don't make small talk with her while she is working! ;) S makes all the things I mentioned above worthwile, possible, and true!
Life..............
On another note we have been so busy this week. Last week we were grumbling about not having anything to do (besides housework and projects) that we moped around all weekend feeling sorry for ourselves. By Monday we had plans nearly every night and felt like we couldn't get a minute to catch our breath. Life is so interesting........
Furthermore, I am amazed at the physical changes (and no I don't have any belly shots to share of her) that S has gone through in the last 4 weeks. At Christmas time I was thinking she was looking pregnant now there is no denying it. I feel Tot kick just about once a day and S is now waking up due to a good ole one two from our tough little son! Life is so amazing............
Finally, S is truly a rockstar. Not just due to creating a life within her body but for her resilience. She hasn't really had the best week at work but also sees that is isn't the worst. On Tuesday the work felt crushing to her, on Wednesday she was talking about the positives regarding the situation, and now she is charging away to be the best at what she is doing. It really doesn't surprise me one bit that she is determined to make the best of it and come out on top. She is definitely driven and when it comes to work, if she is the best she doesn't feel like she is giving enough. This isn't to say that she works 80 hours a week, that is not S. She works more than required but makes family a priority. The things she does though that most of us struggle to figure out how to do, is to work hard, fast, and with accuracy saving herself loads of time! Just don't make small talk with her while she is working! ;) S makes all the things I mentioned above worthwile, possible, and true!
Life..............
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
24 weeks
That means 16 weeks to go. We are 60% through this pregnancy. 3/5 of the way to meeting Tot!
This past week, Tot seems to have grown quite a bit stronger. His kicks are far more frequent and far more powerful. My belly has popped out noticeably more as well. This week I've also had some terrible sugar cravings. We've since eradicated the crap food from the house to help keep me in line.
I also started yoga. Unfortunately, the experience isn't what I had hoped for. I'm crossing my fingers that next week will be better. This week, the remnants of my cold made the regulated breathing absolutely unbearable. In addition, every time I put my head below my waist I was instantly engulfed by acid reflux. Yuck. So, next week I will not eat beforehand and hope that change will bring about a more pleasant experience.
To add a bit of insult to injury, I had the 'flux all night last night even after I was done hanging my head. I think I consumed 1/2 of the bottle of T.ums last night. We've been calling them my "candy" because I need 2-3 every night at bed time, but last night was outrageous!
The last week hasn't been as miserable as the last two paragraphs imply. I love to feel how Tot is growing, and we are looking forward to getting more done at the house this weekend in preparation for his arrival. 16 weeks to go!
This past week, Tot seems to have grown quite a bit stronger. His kicks are far more frequent and far more powerful. My belly has popped out noticeably more as well. This week I've also had some terrible sugar cravings. We've since eradicated the crap food from the house to help keep me in line.
I also started yoga. Unfortunately, the experience isn't what I had hoped for. I'm crossing my fingers that next week will be better. This week, the remnants of my cold made the regulated breathing absolutely unbearable. In addition, every time I put my head below my waist I was instantly engulfed by acid reflux. Yuck. So, next week I will not eat beforehand and hope that change will bring about a more pleasant experience.
To add a bit of insult to injury, I had the 'flux all night last night even after I was done hanging my head. I think I consumed 1/2 of the bottle of T.ums last night. We've been calling them my "candy" because I need 2-3 every night at bed time, but last night was outrageous!
The last week hasn't been as miserable as the last two paragraphs imply. I love to feel how Tot is growing, and we are looking forward to getting more done at the house this weekend in preparation for his arrival. 16 weeks to go!
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